Hello, my name is Janice and I've recently relearned the importance of getting out into the yard and walking barefoot in the grass. This sounds like the opening statement of a person new to a 12 point program, and it could very well be. I guess I should say I'm a "barefoot grass-walking addict".
I've lived a relatively healthy life for the majority of my (soon to be) sixty years. In fact my doctor once told me as a patient I was boring since I presented no real health issues. Then my thyroid went south, and the Hypothyroid brought along its buddies of weight gain, lack of sleep, hair loss and a host of other symptoms that my doctor never warned me about. He didn't know I'm a bulldog on researching whatever comes into my head to uncover, like an archeologist sweeping grains of sands away from buried bones. I found several accompanying symptoms and at my next doctor's visit gave him the list and demanded treatment, one of these piggy-backing buddies of Hypothyroid for me was Stage 2 High Blood Pressure. From being a normal size 14 I ballooned up to a size 22+ in three or four months. And from a normal BP to dangerously high along with heart palpitations in a short period of time not only physically hurt but killed my self-esteem. I couldn't get up off the toilet without using my arms to lever myself up, and walking up a short set of five steps leading into our house was a project filmed in slow motion. I was totally out of breath by the time I got inside the house. Heat bothered me and sent my heart racing, my sex drive disappeared and I had to force myself to leave the house as depression surrounded me. During the past years of struggling to adjust my life to living with the Hypotension and everything it brought I had also allowed my connection to the Earth slip away. I was miserable all the time, I hurt, I was lethargic, and I felt old beyond my years. It happened like a sneak thief and I didn't realized how lost from myself and my spirituality I'd become. I no longer kept up my altar, no longer celebrated the Sabbats, no longer communed with the trees or even paid attention to the moon.
I was losing myself completely. I had to fight against becoming immersed in depression and hiding away; that wasn't me. I'm the type to face down the lion, so I grabbed myself by the scruff of the neck and worked to correct the situation. I've rediscovered my connection with the Goddesses, with the Earth, with Nature and Myself. In this column I hope to present tidbits I've picked up along my road back to ME and wisdom from other strong ladies I've met who have been a haven for me.