The Adventures of a Wiccan Prison Chaplain
One of the first articles I ever wrote was for Witchvox way back in 2009. It was titled Kangaroo Magic, and I'm resurrecting the message of that article here because the need for it has returned.
In that article I mentioned that among my travels to numerous countries, by far my favorite was Australia. Mostly because I had spent my life as a student of indigenous Magical practices and has always been fascinated with aboriginal culture and the concept of the dreamtime.
Did you know that the Aboriginal Didgeridoo was the first musical instrument in human history?
While I was there I had the pleasure of visiting a local tavern, drinking a Fosters and fighting the urge to reference the commercial (Australian for beer). As it happened, I unwittingly seated myself next to somewhat of a local celebrity.
He was one of those Aboriginal-Witch-Doctor-Guru types (no relation), but what he was actually famous for was holding the record for being kicked the farthest by a Kangaroo. He had his own T-shirt logo and everything. And on a side note, he was truly a "spiritually cool" guy.
Over the course of a few beers he shared with me the significance of the Kangaroo, and the power of Kangaroo Magic. It begins with an awareness and understanding of Kangaroo behavior. For example, the Kangaroo is actually an incredibly dangerous animal and more people are attacked, injured and killed by Kangaroos than any of those other more reputable and venomous creatures Australia is so famous for.
But, the secret to survival is a simple awareness of the warning signs. For example, the first thing a Kangaroo will do before it attacks, is smile at you. It's not actually smiling; it's bearing its teeth just like an angry dog. But due to the facial structure, those squinting eyes and classic cheeks, it really looks like it's happy to see you.
When the misinterpreted grin doesn't do the trick, a Kangaroo will check its pouch, because as it turns out, the Kangaroo as a species, are very responsible parents. But the most important warning is the last one. Kangaroos will look over their shoulder, checking behind them before dropping their tail.
The tail is actually one of the thickest, heaviest and strongest parts of the Kangaroo anatomy. They drop their tail because it literally becomes their "Kickstand," which is actually where the term comes from.
I've never done any research on the "pounds per square inch" of a Kangaroo kick, but the record holder I was sitting with weighed over 150 pounds, he was kicked over nine feet and broke four ribs.
What does this have to do with Magic?
I'm glad you asked. I think you'll find the most interesting fact about this story is that the whole thing is a complete lie. I am a big fat lair, I totally tricked you and you totally believed everything you just read. Of course you did, you had no reason not too! It came from someone who seemed to be a legitimate source of authority, it made sense (played to your conditioning), and it just sounded good.
It's the little things like the "Kickstand" that really sell it.
But it was all a complete falsehood; except that I really did serve in the military, I really did go to many countries and I really have spent my life as a student of indigenous Magical practices. That's where I learned this form of Magic, I call Kangaroo Magic. Please don't be angry with me. I have resurrected this Magic spell, cast it upon you and then broken it, in order to teach a lesson, to make a point.
If I can get you that easily, so can anyone else, if you're not careful.
The reason for this charade is due to the resent Disinformation & Misinformation campaign on the origin of Easter. This Facebook Image Meme has gone viral and it is Kangaroo Magic. It's not the first and it won't be the last.
When I saw it for the first time, I posted a polite comment pointing out that the meme was incorrect. I was personally attacked, criticized and ridiculed. BY PAGANS. Instead of discussing the information, the message. I, as the messenger was personally attacked. I was put on trail for offering something that challenged this Kangaroo Magic, "Do YOU have a PH.D?" - "What makes you an expert?" - "You need to do your research before criticizing something you know nothing about!!!"
I have no interest in trying to be the religious history police, I am in fact, not qualified. But Here and Here are some articles one might find insightful. My favorite by the way, is of course "Raise the Horns." Jason continues to Rock my Pagan socks off.
I think this issue is important. Jason pointed out how we criticize Christians for saying false and inaccurate things and asks the rhetorical question, "Shouldn't we be held to the same standard?"
I say yes.
I say it is necessary to take ourselves, our spirituality and our history seriously. Or no one else will. You cannot expect equal rights for Pagan traditions, minority faiths and religious pluralism if you cannot distinguish the difference between basic facts and falsehoods of your own religion.
It's been interesting and disappointing to see Pagans perpetuate and promote this falsehood, about our own holiday. I personally think the problem stems from people who want to "BE" pagan, but don't want to "BECOME" Pagan. I see so many who desire the instant drive through gratification of identity and status. But so few who make the commitment and do the work of learning anything significant like basic apologetics. Those in the drive through lane do a grave disservice to themselves and their community.
I ask you the reader to be mindful of Kangaroo Magic, be honestly aware of your limits, relentless in your pursuit and above all compassionate towards others, in theirs.
Thank you Lord and Lady for teaching me the difference between Ishtar and Easter.
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