Day By Day: a (sometimes rocky!) journey to, and with, the Goddess
I believe we can walk with Goddess by our side, but need to work on our relationship with Her just as we do our person-to-person ones. I'm a 50-something womon seeking and often stumbling along the path to a profound connection with Goddess in Her many aspects. The power of everyday rituals and moments can help light that path and serve as deep communication when words just get in the way.
I live, work and play in sight of the Catskill Mountains. Although I've followed the Hudson River ever farther north in my life, always there were mountains. First there were the gentle Hudson Highlands, then the rocky faces of the Shawangunks, and then, finally the Catskills. It was those wooded peaks that made me finally love the Hudson Valley. I'm blessed to see the Catskills every day, whether glimpsed as I stretch for a peek from our driveway, or sprawling before me as I cross the bridge heading back home after work. They mark the days, the seasons, and I love them. This morning, as I drove home from the Farm Market across the river, my car fragrant with basil and my mind sorting out what to make with the tomatoes and zucchini I'd purchased, I reached the bridge and gasped. The mountains were...gone. Just not there, as if they'd been stolen away by the same villain who swiped the Moon in the movie Despicable Me. Where they usually could be found was only a smudgy gray haze.
A couple of years ago, I wrote a post at my home blog entitled Acts of Faith http://mountainwomon.blogspot.com/2011/09/acts-of-faith.html . So often spirituality relies on faith as its foundation. After all, we can't know there's a Goddess, can we? We can't prove Her existence, can't touch Her, see or hear Her with our standard-issue eyes & ears. And yet, I've known there was Divine since the day after my older son was born 32 years ago. They laid him tummy down on my chest, and he managed to somehow raise his tiny head, and looked past my eyes into my soul. Yep, I know babies aren't really 'looking at' anything at a day old. I don't care; I know what happened that day, and first, that moment changed both our lives. Second, I knew at that moment there was a Divine Being. It would be years before I believed that Being gave a rat's patootie about humankind, and years before I would recognize the Divine as Goddess, but at that moment in time, there was no faith involved; I knew as surely as I know the mountains haven't really vanished. Humidity, fog, clouds have hidden them from my sight, but never my heart.
We of the Goddess path share that knowing. This post's title is borrowed from Jade River's classic Dianic Wiccan book of the same name. To have a relationship with Goddess is to know that relationship is possible, to know that She is there in the rising Sun and waning Moon, in joy and grief, sex and celibacy, birth and death. But that doesn't mean any of us have to have that knowledge from the get-go. We develop it over time, by listening, looking, trusting and questioning, digging in the dirt, living our lives and praying. Perhaps your journey will start with faith that later becomes that which you know and are.
And that's okay....we're all on the same spiraling road, just different places along the way.
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