Paganistan: Notes from the Secret Commonwealth
In Which One Midwest Man-in-Black Confers, Converses & Otherwise Hob-Nobs with his Fellow Hob-Men (& -Women) Concerning the Sundry Ways of the Famed but Ill-Starred Tribe of Witches.
Pagan Virtue/Pagan Guilt
Sour cream keeps for a long time, but this particular batch—filmed over with a scum of red goo—is clearly well past its Use By date.
Normally, I would take it out back and scrape the contents into the compost; then I would wash the plastic container and put it into the recycling. But I'm busy making breakfast and suddenly the extra work seems more than I want to do. I replace the lid and, feeling a pang of guilt, put it into the garbage.
I'm a pagan. I reuse, repurpose, and recycle religiously, and I mean that literally. In the general way of things, I generate very little garbage, throwing out maybe one bag of garbage every couple/three weeks: mostly dental floss (the commercial stuff is all plasticized) and non-recyclable plastic (like the bags that leaf spinach comes in). I feel a little stab, seeing the eminently-recyclable plastic sour cream container in amongst the spinach bags, but I steel myself and turn back to my breakfast-making.
I don't get far in my preparations, though, standing at the chopping board in a miasma of guilt as pungent as a fart. I heave a sigh, retrieve the sour cream, and take it out back to the heap. Life would be so much easier if we had no values.
Many come to the Old Ways from shame cultures, seeking an escape from the internalized guilt that poisons their natal societal air.
Well, I've got some bad news for you: only sociopaths feel no guilt. When it comes to guilt, pagans feel our share; we're just differently guilty. Perhaps the very best to be said is that when pagans feel guilt, it's because we've broken our own rules, not someone else's.
Core values reaffirmed, I wash my hands and go back to chopping onions. Really, it wasn't that much extra work after all.
And breakfast always tastes better when you're feeling virtuous.
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This is so very familiar.
Been there. Had that guilt wrench looking at a glass jar filled with old, moldy salsa, too liquidy to pour into my freezer compost bag, too chunky to pour down the drain, finding the temptation to throw it away, glass jar and all.
Of course, I could take it out to the compost pile, wash the jar, and recycle it. But it’s winter and freezing, or I’m busy, or whatever. I’ll do it tomorrow, I think, as I stick it back to deal with later. I cannot make myself put it in the garbage, going against deeply held beliefs.
So relatable.