Paganistan: Notes from the Secret Commonwealth

In Which One Midwest Man-in-Black Confers, Converses & Otherwise Hob-Nobs with his Fellow Hob-Men (& -Women) Concerning the Sundry Ways of the Famed but Ill-Starred Tribe of Witches.

  • Home
    Home This is where you can find all the blog posts throughout the site.
  • Tags
    Tags Displays a list of tags that have been used in the blog.
  • Bloggers
    Bloggers Search for your favorite blogger from this site.
  • Login
    Login Login form

Wank-Dreams of an Intergalactic Space Princess

Sigh. Disney has much to answer for.

So...there's this Princess in a galaxy far, far away.

Actually she isn't a Princess anymore. She's now High Queen: absolute hereditary monarch of seven Keltic star-systems. All her subjects love her.

(Her family, BtW, became ruling dynasty bloodlessly centuries before by unanimous acclaim when the previous dynasty...um, petered out. Welcome to Planet Kumbaya.)

Um...let's see. She's seven feet tall—all the Space-Kelts are tall—and drop-dead gorgeous (of course), with a tumbling cascade of butt-length red hair.

Among her many memorable accomplishments, she single-handedly piloted a space ship—without benefit of crew—through a zone previously considered un-navigable. She did this in order to avenge her parents, destroying their murderers' planet by psychic power alone.

Then....

(Is your gorge rising yet? Mine certainly was.)

Well, I'm sorry, but I can't tell you what comes next. I just couldn't force myself to read any more.

Thanks to the Red Hag—covid 19—many of us are scraping the bottom of the barrel for fresh reading material. Here's a series, written by a witch—well, a Wiccan, anyway—the premise of which is that ancient Kelts fled to outer space to escape the oppressive ways of the New Religion...sounds like it could be fun.

Oh, but it isn't. Patricia Kenneally-Morrison's Keltiad series—from what little I've been able to stomach—reads more like some perverted kind of cross between wish-fulfillment and Disney-princess masturbatory fantasy.

(Oh, did I mention that the Space-Kelts have chocolate—they call it shukla—in their world? Sigh. Of course they have chocolate.)

Well, PK-M, I wish you well, and you're certainly welcome to whatever kind of masturbatory fantasies you like.

But me, I'm not playing along. Frankly—to quote Quentin Crisp here—I don't see how anyone possibly could.

 

Last modified on
Tagged in: Pagan Fiction
Poet, scholar and storyteller Steven Posch was raised in the hardwood forests of western Pennsylvania by white-tailed deer. (That's the story, anyway.) He emigrated to Paganistan in 1979 and by sheer dint of personality has become one of Lake Country's foremost men-in-black. He is current keeper of the Minnesota Ooser.

Comments

  • Anthony Gresham
    Anthony Gresham Thursday, 23 July 2020

    For reading material I suggest: "Log Horizon" by Mamare Touno; "Magic's Pawn", "Magic's Promise", and "Magic's Price" by Mercedes Lackey; "The Crystal Gryphon" by Andre Norton; "The Paradise War", "The Silver Hand", and "The Endless Knot" by Stephen R. Lawhead; and "Windmaster's Bane", "Fireshaper's Doom" and "Darkthunder's Way" by Tom Deitz.

  • Steven Posch
    Steven Posch Friday, 24 July 2020

    Thanks for the recommendations, Anthony. To this let me add Esther Forbes' classic A Mirror for Witches and pretty much anything by Rosemary Sutcliff.

  • Please login first in order for you to submit comments

Additional information