Solitary: A Self-Directed Spiritual Life

Let's talk. Come sit with me under a tree or by a lake while we chat about being alone in our practice and our beliefs. Solitary practitioners choose this path for many reasons and have a unique perspective. As a solitary witch, I want to share how I keep true to my beliefs and practices whether I'm working on my own, in a small group or attending a large group gathering. Author of Moon Affirmations, meditations based on the phase of the moon.

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Letting Go

With my mom's passing, I felt I had it handled.  I was her executor though I'm the youngest of her six kids.  The last three months have flown by and I've felt like I had a long list of things to do and no time to grieve.  I had to organize her funeral, disposal of her things, and her finances.  

As I finished one task, I felt like I was checking off a box on some crazy list I never wanted to deal with.  Mixed in with this, I kept having dreams of my mom and my dad (he died 34 years ago).  I can't tell you specifics other than they were always laughing and there was always light.  

It wasn't hard to let my mom go.  This may sound heartless but for the last year mom had been slipping away from us.  She was no longer her and her health was going downhill.  I got through the funeral though making the PowerPoint for it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. 

Getting six siblings to agree on things is difficult under any circumstances.  In the emotionally charged situation of mom's death, it was surprisingly easy until we got to mom's jewelry.  It wasn't the value of the things but the sentiment of them.  My father made jewelry and mom had a large selection of her own and both of my grandmother's jewelry.  

So everything is distributed.  We're waiting on a couple of financial things and the close to my parent's lives is nearly done.  

The last tangible thing is to go through the photos and slides mom left us.  This encompasses her legacy I guess.  She took thousands of pictures.  She loved to travel, loved to take pictures and left hundreds of photo albums and carousals of slides.  

Some of these we have electronically which is perfect.  None of us have the space for so many photos or slides; plus we don't want to lose the slides as these are the early photos of the family.  I started the process of uploading and sorting the photos.  

This is when the grief slammed into me.  I look at all of the photos and it's so hard to decide what to keep and what to discard.  I know how much my parents - mom in particular - loved the photos.  Every holiday and family gathering there was mom snapping pictures.  Always two or three to make sure one turned out nice - before digital.  Post digital - she still took two of each.  She kept the blurry, the blacked out, and the ridiculous.  At some point she started taking pictures of gas station prices.  

I know it's necessary to discard these things but they are quintessentially my mom.  I'm sorting through all of them and putting the ones which have been uploaded in one pile.  I'll offer the actual photos to the family - siblings, nieces / nephews, and the grand nephews.  I know I need to let them go but I also want to preserve them in her memory.  

While I'm working on the sorting, I have to limit the time I'm doing this but at the same time it helps me keep her in my memory and my heart.  This is my letting her go - I know this and I struggle with it.  At the same time, I know it's time.  


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As a solitary, I consider myself a pagan witch who is seeking. Residing in rural Wisconsin, by day I work as a clerical worker and at night I spend my spare time writing. Writing is my way of expressing my feelings about my world and life. Raised on a farm, I have a love for nature and am inspired by the beauty and power I find there. I've been married for 33 years and have three adult daughters. Some of my other interests include cooking, genealogy, reading and crocheting.  
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