My tarot deck has been replaced a few times.  Each time I've given away my favorite deck, I felt compelled to do so.  I always told myself I'll go pick out something new and different.  Each time, I bought the same deck again.  

Tarot to me is soothing and calming.  I love tapping into the energy of the cards.  I love giving readings though I don't read for others often.  When I read for myself, I look at the cards write down whatever comes to mind and then I look at what the book has to say.  I use both for interpretation.  

I read a book recently I thought I wouldn't like - Madame Pamita's Magical Tarot.  The title made me think of a scammer and the cover didn't do much to change my mind.  The text within the book was wonderful.  

Over the years I've tried reading a card a day - it never works for me.  I don't have time to do this.  However, in this book she suggested the reader draw a card a day and write down the meanings that came to mind.  I took this and twisted it to suit me.

On a day I felt balanced, I sat with my tarot deck and sorted through them.  It felt like the right time to do this.  I picked out all the major arcana cards.  I put them in numerical order because that works for me.  I have a book of shadows (BOS).  I put things in occasionally.  Anything in my book has to touch me.  It's my magic, my way.

I turned to an area which had a number of blank pages.  One by one I went through each card.  I focused on the picture, the word, the number or whatever stood out to me.  In my BOS, I wrote the card, my meaning for the day, and the book's definition.  My favorite card I looked at it and I knew nothing would come to mind because the thing I like about it the most is how the book interprets it.  Surprisingly I came up with a little phrase which matched the book - though less elegantly.  

This was an exercise for me in connecting more closely with a tool I love to use.  It allowed me to think and consider and form opinions about my deck.  It helped me see I know my deck - how close my meanings were to the book's interpretations.  

Handling the cards for me is an act of reverence.  When I get the cards in my hands, I feel the energy of them and feel connected to them and to some extent through them to the divine energy.  

In the last month, my day job has become difficult.  I struggled with a decision.  My supporters (family, friends, co-workers) did what they were supposed to - they offered their support.  This decision I needed to make was complex.  I turned to my tarot.  This decision was a big one which would ripple into many aspects of my life.  

I rarely ask a question when I read my tarot.  I find the cards tell me what is I need to know regardless of what I think I need to know.  For this one, I focused on the problem I was struggling with.  

Oddly, I used only the major arcana and drew only three cards.  Normally I put them all in and do a Celtic Cross (ten card spread).  I felt the major arcana fit the situation better than the full deck.  I wanted the big picture, the powerhouse cards.  

My answer that day helped me go from anxious and annoyed to calm.  This is what I wrote in my Tarot Journal 

"I've been itching to get my hands on my cars and now I see why.  They had things to tell me.  There's a lot of turmoil and chaos around me.  I feel out of step and out of control.  I can try to cling but it's almost always better to just let go."

Two of the cards I pulled talked about endings and the third talked about calm balance.  It was a reminder to me that even though I liked the situation, it doesn't mean it's the best situation for me.  Sometimes I have to throw my cards to the wind (not literally my tarot cards) and see where they land.  

Post tarot reading I took steps to make changes.  Now I'm waiting to see what comes into fruition.  I'm a strong believer in acting not just hoping.  I took action to a point which was logical and measured.  My cards confirmed what I thought was the right next step.  

I'm still dealing with turmoil and chaos but I'm handling it better and coming from a more balanced place - usually.  

While I used the major arcana in this situation, the minor arcana gives details.  In the situation I describe above, I needed big picture not the details.  

I've got the major arcana in my BOS so my next step - do the same for the minor arcana.  I'll go through each suit and probably put them in order (it's a thing for me).  My hope is to find a deeper connection to the details part of my tarot deck.  

With more than twenty years reading tarot, I didn't think I'd find new things to teach me more about my deck or reading but this twist on the advice in a book has done both.