Good/Bad Witch

Wolf Spirit from New Brunswick

Good Witch - Bad Witch graphic
artwork by Holly Golightly for newWitch

Dear
Good Witch/Bad Witch,

I am a seventeen-year old Witch and I have a “friend” who is also a Witch. But she takes being a Witch to a level that has me and my other Pagan friends cringing.

She has buttons and bumper stickers in her room that denigrate other religions. One that really bugged me was “How DARE you presume that I’m a Christian.” As Witches we aren’t supposed to put down other religions and mock them. But that’s her attitude. She boasts left and right about how much she knows and how she is an incredible Witch. She says she knows all about the Craft and abides every rule, but that’s not what she does. I don’t want to put her off and say “You’re a bad Witch and you have to stop.” I’d never do a thing like that. But there is something terribly wrong with this picture.

I’m worried that she is going to get into serious trouble with all this Karma around her. As I write this my stomach is tying into knots. I have no idea what to do. Please, can you maybe shed some light on this situation that can possibly help her?

— Wolf Spirit from New Brunswick

 

Dear Spirit,

Wow, someone must have switched me and BW this week, ‘cuz today it’s gonna be me giving the outrageous, transgressive advice.

I don’t think it’s your “friend’s” karma you are worrying about, it’s yours. More to the point, it’s your reputation (and that of all of us Witches who don’t act like our Book of Shadows was translated directly from Ye Olde Boorish) that you are concerned for.

Get over it. If you like being around Miss Stuck-Up Wannabe, don’t stress about her karma; whatever she gets will be her problem, not yours. She sounds like about as much fun as an unscheduled root canal, but if you dig that, no worries. Just hang on for the dubious pleasure of watching her get her richly deserved comeuppance.

If, on the other hand, being around her is nothing but an exercise in irritation and eye-rolling, move on and don’t look back. (It’s also considered rude to point at somebody making a fool of themselves.) You can’t “save” her from using the Craft as a license to be immature, bigoted, or arrogant. Some folks are just... annoying, and you can’t fix them all. Just be glad she isn’t your lover; then those crazy pheromones would get in the way of seeing how dysfunctional her behavior is.


Dear Wolf,

BW was once a scrappy young Witch looking to shock parents, teachers, and innocent bystanders at the mall. BW grew out of it not long after she reached the age of consent: your friend will probably do the same. In the meantime consider shopping with somebody else, unless you want the folks at Hot Topic mocking you behind your back.

BW would never advise you to tell a friend “You’re being a bad Witch.” (There’s only one Bad Witch, and your friend ain’t it.) On the other hand, it is perfectly acceptable to tell a friend “You’re behaving like an [expletive].” When she gets done ranting, a simple, “Now you’re behaving like an [expletive] who is throwing a temper tantrum” will suffice. The problem isn’t your friend’s thealogy, it’s her behavior. Being a Witch doesn’t give you the right to act like a bonehead. The sooner your friend learns this, the happier everyone will be.

Looking into her crystal ball, BW sees your friend’s Karmic fate. Ten years from now she’s going to look back on her present-day antics and roll her eyes in embarrassment. Don’t ask BW how she knows this...

badwitch


This article first appeared in the magazine newWitch #18
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