Priestess Grove: Blossoming on the Spiral Path

A Priestess is a woman who acts as a conduit between the Heavenly and the Earthly realms, as our world shifts and turns and re-awakens it's ties to the Divine Feminine the role of the Priestess is once again coming out into the light of day. The Priestess Grove is a sanctuary of Priestess tools, ideas and inspiration to encourage the growth and re-emergence of Goddess consciousness back into the third dimensional world.

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Candise

Candise

Candise is an ordained Priestess of Grace who works with the Butterfly Spirit as her totem, and as a professional Psychic Channel.Candise practices a faith that she has named 'Feminine Mysticism'. In mysticism we acknowledge the One Source and recognize all else as human hypnotism. In Feminine spirituality we embrace duality and marry it, forming non-duality. It is through the practice of Feminine Mysticism that Candise utilizes ritual as a tool to see beyond the hypnotic suggestion of this realm.Priestess' have practiced the art of marrying the energies from this Earth realm and the Higher realms together for many moons now. Mystics endeavour to find Source behind the suggestions of illusion. Thus the Feminine Mystic approach to life is to marry the Truth of perfection with the human experience. This is the path that Candise Priestess', the Spiral Path of Grace, the path of the Feminine Mystic.Candise offers ceremony, ritual, workshops, Moon Medicine, energy healing facilitation and spiritual counseling.

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November, my touchstone.

As I feel the decent of the Sun's Scorpio energy falling down upon me I feel deeply grounded, calmed and for the first time during this past cycle of the wheel completely at ease. The Scorpio Sun is true to it's nature in that it is hidden behind dark clouds, felt but rarely seen at the end of this October month, becoming even darker as the Scorpion energy grows in strength throughout the November month. This upcoming month that leads me deeper into darker days and nights is my birth month. 

 
I am a Scorpio. I was born during this drab, chilly time of year. Growing up I wished for a different birthdate, one in which I could have pool parties with my friends, or Easter egg hunts, or bonfires in the field, it looked as though any month besides November proved to have an upside to it. I attended birthday parties for my friends who had been born during sunnier or more festive times and it seemed to me that November was just a grey, long month of empty hanging space, the time between Halloween (Samhain to me now) and Christmas (Yule), almost a place keeper between fun and celebration, a non~month if you will.
 
As I've grown up and entered my ministry as a Priestess I have found a deep fondness for this upcoming month, not only because it resonates so strongly with my phoenix soul, but also because this month of space is the month that I have found my magic, my mystery and most importantly my sense of greatest ease and comfort in.
 
Feminine Mysticism teaches me that what I experience outside of myself is a reflection of my inner state, when I cycle into the month of November my outsides reflects back to me what my inner self most needs. Space to be in the dark, quiet to explore the mystery and a stillness so still and so potent that my yin qi runs as cool as the icy wind outside of my window. 
 
I am called into the depths of my feminine self during this phase of the wheel. The patriarchy taught me to fear the dark, to recoil from the cold, to worship at the alter of fiery lighted masculine energy. It tried to push me away from my feminine nature and into a world that was flashy, fast and extreme. By the time the month of November rolled around there was no amount of patriarchy that could shield me from the dark cool nature of the Goddess.
 
The dark has been named spooky and spooky has been called evil, the dark was said to shield the faces of the evil spirits that haunted this realm, spirits that would try to steal your soul and send you to the underworld, to hell. Of course we know now that all of these deeply feminine aspects that were demonized in the patriarchy's overthrow of the Western world are in fact richly powerful and transformative qualities. 
 
The dark is the Goddess, She is the mystery, the void, the womb, the space of emptiness. November is Her month for me. November begins directly after the eve of Samhain, a night when the spirits of the ancestors are welcomed back through the thinned veil, a night when the spirit realm and the human walk closely beside each other. The next morning is the first day of November, November is entered once we have communed and reached through the veil of this realm and the next, that realm that the patriarchy tried to shield us form with tales of evil spirits and damned places called hell. (Remove an 'l' from hell and you have Hel the Goddess who rules Helheim, the realm of the dead).
 
In following the cycle of the wheel and growing through the spiral of the year I am left in this barren month with a keen awareness of the other realm, with an openness to explore the depths of my own darkness, my shadow self as well as my Divine Feminine. This month requires nothing more of me then to simply be with my powerful self. There is little comfort in this month outside of me, I must go within and even when I do I don't find the cozy cave of Winter's hibernation yet, I find an empty cave awaiting me, entreating me to fill it with all that I will need when the deep slumber of Winter arrives. My work is heavy, deep, intense and oh so fulfilling, it is the work of the Scorpio Goddess Archetype. When I enter the barren internal cave my arms are full from the harvest of September, my spirit is inspired from the time spent communing with the ancestors of Samhain and I am ready to create and to build.
 
In my internal cave I first lay out my crystal ball, my Goddess cards, my pendulum, I am ready to go deep, I am ready to be magic. I lie out fur rugs to keep me warm in the upcoming months, yet for now I wrap my shawl around my shoulders and prepare to sit down, to gaze into the crystal ball before me and to align myself with my deepest highest self. This is my metaphoric journey that happens during the month of Scorpio. Each year the experience is different and each year I look forward to being in my astrological essence a little more.
 
There have been many tools that I've used over the Novembers of my life, some that have taken me into the sadness of my inner darkness, some that have lit up my spiritual juice, and others that have led me bravely through the dark nights of my soul and brought me face to face with my shadow self. All of these November's have been rich and deep fertilizer for my life's work. 
 
As my cycles become more conscious I can look back and see what has helped me align and what has brought me out of alignment during these periods of my life, I have found that : 
 
  • over~sharing 'senses' that I am picking up, inspirations that are descending upon me and any other seed of internal knowing that has not had time to take root whisks away chances for deep and meaningful work.
 
  • over~scheduling myself with activities, social engagements and work keeps me buoyed to the surface of life during a time when the tides of the Ocean are ripe to pull me down, deep into Her depths.
 
  • over~caffeinating myself keeps me jittery and unable to tap into the inner stillness that connects me to my inner Goddess self.
 
  • over~eating processed and junk foods make me feel zoned out and lethargic during this dark month.
 
When I remain aware of what hasn't worked for me in the past and stay committed to that which has:
 
  • holding sacred silence, secrecy, a sense of reverence for the mystery that slowly wells up within my womb space, my inner cauldron, my intuitive gut. This sacred silence gives me the space to digest the spiritual messages that I receive at this time and allows them to germinate and to take root within during Winter's hibernation.
 
  • journalling, lucid dreaming, meditation, prayer, yoga. Internal, solitary activities that slow me down and open me up to receiving the potency of the mystery that enshrouds this month.
 
  • this is the time of year when herbs, tinctures, teas, tonics and ciders awaken me to my Priestess self. Earthy potions that nourish my qi and warm me from the inside out keep my inner fires lit during the dark, damp days of November.
 
  • hearty meals, stews, soups, potatoes all keep me grounded as the waters of Scorpio and the winds of the Autumn season call on me to dive deep into the intuitive waters and to rise high into the ethers of my third eye. Earthy foods, cooked at home help to sustain and strengthen my physical vessel as it is stretched wide open and laid at the altar of the Spirit realm.
 
Through utilizing the above tools and avoiding some of the hindrances I am prepared to let go and to just be fully Scorpio, fully in my Priestess self, in my magic and in my glory.
 
Where I once only felt at home in the dark, autumnal season, I now am able to enjoy the flavours of each season, each month, each cycle of the wheel. Once I began to consciously merge with my birth month I found my home base in the calendar year. I am comforted throughout the other cycles of the wheel, ones that feel busier, lighter, more frivolous than my Scorpio nature is at ease in, knowing that my cycle of the year is on it's way. Once I began to allow myself to be present with whatever cycle of the year I was in and to soak up what each cycle had to offer I was able to become more integrated into my life experience. Rather than hiding away from the bright Sun, or shielding myself from the delicate nature of Spring, I could experiment with dancing in different energies knowing that my time would come with the advent of the Autumn season. I have learnt to be light, to have fun, to be engaged in the manifestation process, always with the comfort of coming home to my November month.
 
I suspect that each of us is most at home with one particular month of the year, for some it may be their birth month, the Gemini's ready to dance and play in June's new Sun, the Capricorns prepared to share their traditional stories around the fire in the dark of a January night and the Taurus' ready for romance and sweets as the buds of spring bloom. These birth months are like our touchstones, our yearly energetic imprints, the space where we are the most comfortable in our own skins this comfort fortifies us so that we may be true to ourselves throughout the rest of the year as we journey out of our comfort zone. The more we can soak up our month, birth month or other, the easier it becomes to open up and to integrate the essence of each month, we can integrate :
 
January's sense of traditions and wisdom, with
February's forward thinking and wild rebellion, with
March's inspired creativity, with
April's bright burst of excitement and energy, with
May's romance, sweetness and blossoming, with
June's busy fun times, with
July's motherly warm embrace, with
August's extroverted loud expression, with
September's dedicated harvesting, with
October's discernment and communion, with
November's openness, space and stillness, with
December's joy and exuberance.
 
As you connect to the month that resonates the most with who you are and strengthen that foundational self, soon you will find, as I have, that the dance from open space of spirit in the dark month to the romance and sweetness in the light month are not as far apart as they once were, the integration of all of the month's energies connect you to your whole self and in the light of this whole self a greater awareness of the One Goddess within everything and everyone begins to dawn.
 
I revel in this integration, and send up a prayer of thanks to the Goddess that my time, my true north month is almost here, I pray November inspires and brings as much magic to you as it has to me throughout the November's of my life.
 
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
 
 
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  • Candise
    Candise says #
    Sister! You're my opposite month. It took me so long to be at ease in the Spring, I felt like a fraud, the light was so revealing,
  • Michele Murphy
    Michele Murphy says #
    Beautiful post. I love this idea of the dark mysterious time being that of the feminine. Although I am a spring baby, I love the f

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Blood Mysteries

The blood mysteries, they have called to me for years. The calling felt distant, an eery echo in an old worn in cave that lived deep within my wombspace, the house of my ancestors. 

I remember watching the movie "The Passion of the Christ" when it was first released in the theatre. Never mind that Mary Magdalene was portrayed as a prostitute, despite the inaccuracy of the connection between her and the prostitue in the New Testament I was glued to the two women in the film, the characters of Mother Mary and Mary the Magdalene. There were two scenes in particular that stood out to me. Watching Mother Mary run towards a falling Jesus during His long walk with His cross while the camera in slow motion flashed back to Mary running to catch a young child Jesus that was tripping and falling is one of the two scenes that has always stuck with me. The other scene that stood out to me included both Mary's and the wife of Pilot, the man who washed his hands of Jesus' fate. In this scene Jesus' bloody and torn body has been dragged away after being viscously flogged publicly leaving behind pools of blood. Pilot's wife approaches the Mary's with a handful of white cloths, silently both Mary's get down on their knees and begin to mop up the blood, when the cloth is used up they take the shawls from atop their heads and begin to soak up His blood with that. I was young in my journey when this movie came out and fresh to my 20's, as I watched alongside an avid born again Christian roommate I knew that I was witnessing something profound, something sacred. 
 
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The Humility of Surrender
Eleven months in, I am one month away from a year, a full year. One year since the freedom to go and to do whatever moves me left. One year since I could choose what I ate, when I slept, when I woke, what I listened to, what I watched, what I wore and when. One year is just around the corner and I couldn't be happier.
 
It's been almost a year since I walked through the veil of transition between Maidenhood and Motherhood.
 
In my typical Scorpio fashion I have jumped in full force, straight into the deep end. She is yet to be 'babysat' by anyone besides my husband, she sleeps with me at night, on me to nap, my breasts are forever at her disposal, we are pretty merged, my Maiden and I at this point. It seemed the most natural way in the world for her and I to be together at most times, it feels as if a part of my insides was birthed outside of me while remaining a part of me. Like I gave birth to my heart and now I hold her as close and as dear as possible.
 
Despite this energetic vortex that envelopes the two of us, somewhere throughout this year it became apparent to me that I was going to need some downtime, this need developed into a routine known in the evening as 'Daddy/Daughter' time, this is my time to unwind. When we decided, my husband and I that downtime was very much a necessity for me, the vision that I held was of me knitting, reading, writing, meditating, napping and drinking tea. I'm happy to say that at 11 months this is pretty much how my sacred space looks 80% of the time.
 
Daddy/daughter time didn't begin quite so crisp and clean in the beginning months for me, it began quite secularly, those nights definitely weren't my pride and joy at the time. In hindsight I now see how much I gained from them, the humility and the permission to be human, to be a mother that was not a cookie cutter of the 'Domestic Spiritual Goddess' that I was holding up for myself to attain.
 
Daddy/daughter time began with me addictively watching TV series and eating potatoe chips (often they were organicish) and drinking pop (cane sugar instead of white....) getting as many "ep's" in as I could and fervently escaping into other worlds. I posted on my personal Facebook page asking for more show recommendations when I had devoured Call the Midwife, Downton Abbey, The Tudors, Boardwalk Empire and finally Orange is the New Black. My Priestess sisters, energy community and homesteading friends suggested some nice healthy mindful practices rather than T.V. They had the same vision for a healthy, full time to self that I had had. I just wasn't there yet. I felt myself slink away from announcing my dirty little TV and snacks habit and just sank even further into the couch cushions. I sank and I feared that I may have lost all of who I thought I was. I wondered if I was going to loose my Priestess self, if I was going to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom that didn't write, hold circle, offer services to others and ate junk food and watched T.V.  I'm so appreciative that I allowed myself to sit and eat. I'm grateful that I didn't push and that I was were I was and allowed that to be okay. These months humbled me, they revealed my humanness, not only in my need to take time for self, but in my ability to experience a little sloth without loosing my soul or my calling in the process.
 
I learned throughout my development as a Priestess, that nothing, absolutely nothing is as powerful a principle in the life of a Priestess as humility.
My mentress, the Priestess Aquarius, would teach me this during every learning session we spent together. "Above all Candise, a Priestess must be humble," she would tell me during my training. It was these words that followed me when I fell into a depression during a 'dark night of the soul' three years back. Similar to, yet nowhere close to as dire, this dark night of the soul mirrored my surrender into the couch potatoe phase that I have just been through. Both of these situations called for me to fall into what was and to allow myself to be in those moments, to let go of what I thought life should look like and to flow with the River of life. My dark night of the soul began when a man who has lived this lifetime shrouded in darkness, one who had wreaked havoc on my life when I was a young Maiden re-appeared in my life temporarily three years ago. I fell to pieces as years of frozen and unacknowledged trauma rose to the surface. My first response was to 'spiritual leapfrog' through the pain. To skip over the pain, to deny it, to spiritualize it away, simultaneously I felt myself teetering along the thin line of self-destruction as my old wounds promised to take me over the edge and back into the black abyss of self-destruction that I had lived in once long ago. In that moment of choice a silent clarity descended upon me and I made a deal with Goddess, I said to Her, "okay, I'm going to fall apart now. I'm going to feel everything I didn't feel when I was abused so many years ago. I'm going to fall to pieces and I'm not going to rush to come back together, I'm just going to let it happen and I need You to carry me through this." And I did. I just fell completely to pieces. For one full year I did little more than make it to work, the rest of the time I cocooned on the couch, I barely ate or showered, I went to trauma therapy and fought the voices in my head that argued that therapy wasn't as evolved as breathworks, meditations, Shamanic journeying and communal circles (all of which I also attended). My world turned black and I wasn't sure I would ever see colour again, my pride was stripped away from me and I flowed along the river of despair until one day I was delivered to the shore. I stepped away from the river integrated, more whole than I had been before I fell apart and I was gifted with experiences that I could offer others on the shamanic path. Suddenly I had less 'answers' for others and more experience to share in. This was the heavy pill of humility that I swallowed and this experience has taught me that being real, being human is worth more than any shiny ideal of a spiritual woman that I could try to fit into could ever be.
 
So I fell into my couch once again, though this time out of burn out rather than despair and I just watched as much TV as I could, I trusted the process despite my very alive pride that yelled at me that I was loosing all of my Priestess self in this year of Motherhood. I struggled with my 'Superwoman' archetype that had envisioned me baking, cooking from organic scratch, writing, knitting, sewing, visitng friends and humming a merry tune all the way through. I judged myself, harshly, after all I only had one little baby. I had so much help from my husband. I wasn't working. She slept great. So what was my problem? Simply put I was drained. In the Waldorf tradition of thought, which is rooted in anthroposophy a woman's child is under her 'Madonna Cloak' for the first three years of life. Energetically my Maiden sucks up as much of me as she can and I need to reboot. So I sat. And I watched, and I watched and I snacked.
 
Until...
 
One night when my Beloved and my daughter returned from their Daddy/daughter time I realized that I didn't feel rested and rejuvenated as I had before, I felt saturated in surface level noise. My deep need to fall into unconscious media/junk food bliss had passed, naturally. I had trusted the flow and eventually I did loose my desire. I took at trip to the library, I took out a magical novel. I pulled out my knitting. I picked up doll making instructions for my daughter's birthday and I began to be what I had envisioned, a Priestess filling herself up with art, crafts and inspiration. It was the perfect example of being a modern day Priestess for me, finding the balance between nurturing my soul and honouring where I was. When I surrender to what is and I follow the flow of the Mother I can trust that it is okay to be human and it is okay to be other than how my ego self wants me to be. Shortly after I received my first 'energy session' client since I had been pregnant. My Beloved packed my Maiden up for their evening time together and I saged the healing room/nursery. I lit candles, I grounded down and opened up to the inflow of the Goddess and worked with the woman on my table. I felt exhilarated. I felt deeply connected to me. I saw that when I trust, when I surrender. I can have moments of least resistance that look less than evolved to me without loosing my sense of the magical, my connection to Source.
 
A Priestess is a conduit for the worlds, Heaven, Earth and all of the realms in between. It's okay to enjoy some of this Earthy realm. I didn't know this. Not for a very long time. It has been a pleasure being able to just unwind and relax some of these high standards that I've held for myself.
 
That is perhaps one of the greatest gifts beyond my Maiden that has come of my transition into the Mother phase of life. Letting go of everything that I thought I knew. In the morning I get no more then 10 minutes of my much desired yoga practice in. For months I would go from pose to pose with this sense of wound up anticipation, at what moment would she start to climb on me, fuss for me? How long could I yoga for?! Until one day truth descended. It doesn't matter how long my practice lasts, it matters how present to the practice I am. I began to bring full awareness into my warm up, giving thanks for the opportunity to do just one cat/cow if that is what that day's practice offered me.
 
Amidst the changes, feeding, singing, playing and cleaning I have found that while my time for self has lessened my presence with self is increasing. A new joy and appreciation for the freedom to choose what I engage in matched with a reverent focused sense of receiving as much as I can out of the moment has offered me a more zen like approach to my life than I have ever had. The years worth of books that I studied and the hours of meditation have all brought me to this. An awakened, living presence of the everyday interspersed with moments of spiritual practice.
 
Eleven months in and I have begun to transform in ways that I had never imagined. I look down the spiral path in front of me and stand in awe and wonder some days. I look behind me and see what the years of the Maiden taught me, freedom, authenticity, love, romance, adventure, exploration, heartache, delusion, confusion, mistrust, enchantment, awakening, passion and blossoming. In front of me I see the winding road of Mother, I wonder who it is that I will discover myself to be as I continue to walk further into this phase of my life. I wonder about the humility that is almost enforced upon my ambitious soul as I surrender myself in service to my family. I wonder about the woman that will walk from the Mother phase into her Enchantress years down that spiral path, Goddess willing. I watch other women now, women who are well along their Mother phase and beyond, I listen to them, I want to know what it was like for them in their different phases of life. I am so curious and so nervous (not knowing is not an easy place for me) and so excited to see what this sacred path will revel to me.
 
Eleven months in and I'm finally at a loss for words.
 
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace
Candise Soaring Butterfly
 
 

 

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  • Candise
    Candise says #
    Michele, thank you so much for your relating, reading and honouring of this path. It is such a joy and a relief to know that there
  • Michele Murphy
    Michele Murphy says #
    I loved this! I really love the authenticity of it and the acceptance of times when we don't live up to our idealized selves. As
  • Candise
    Candise says #
    Thank you Leisa, it's been quite the blessed ride
  • Leisa Reynolds
    Leisa Reynolds says #
    great insights. i enjoyed reading your article.

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My Journey to the Goddess Deities
 "Yeah, I'd break bread and wine. If there was a church I could receive in." Sometimes Bono just totally gets me. I love ceremony and I love truth and happily, I can find both almost anywhere. What I can't find almost anywhere, however, is a sense of complete belonging. In most religious houses I can't shake the sense that I'm not truly welcome there. This isn't to say that I'm not welcomed on the surface, I don't go into religious houses with a great big pentacle around my neck or a vile of Moon blood to offer the Virgin Mary, they aren't aware that I'm a Goddess loving Priestess upon my entrance, but there is the sense that if they truly knew how I worshipped they'd probably rather that I just turn away and find the nearest crop to worship in and be done with my heathen soul. Oh they've tried to 'save' me, but apparently the 'spirit of witchcraft and lust' just wouldn't budge.
 
I'm fine with this sense of not belonging in the religious houses for the most part now. Yet when my call to become a Priestess first beckoned me, it was the pain of being rejected by the religious folks, the so-called faith filled ones that came up to be healed. Because while I don't fit into any of the major religions, despite my great thirst for a devoted and surrendered life, I also didn't feel I truly fit into any pagan, wiccan, Goddess or any other ancient or alternative circle either. I was a bit of a spiritual misfit, an orphan of sorts with no home that I could find on Earth.
 
Where my lack of belief in a Devil, a male God living on a cloud and my refusal to conform to the idea that I as a women am to play a supporting, subordinate role in this drama of life counts me out of the religious world, I feared that my lack of a belief in many deities or the necessity rather then the desire to worship in a circle or a prescribed fashion,  along with my personal choice not to try to manifest or use magic to make a situation unfold in my desired direction counted me out of all other potential spiritual circles. This made the first half of my spiritual journey a solo one, I just didn't care to explain my renegade brand of beliefs to anyone anymore after the run ins that I had found in the fellowship of the churches. I had been disillusioned to find that nobody was actually interested in hearing why I didn't believe in a Devil, rather they were waiting for me to finish speaking so that I could be corrected and saved. This rang true for the many names but same Source conversation, or the pointing out of Bible verses where Jesus urges His followers not to proselyte, or discussing the misogynistic writings and practices of Paul, deemed St. Paul, none of these were discussions to be had, they were misbeliefs to be corrected and if not corrected then I was a lost soul to be prayed for and turned away from. I wasn't about to face another rejection from a group of spiritually practicing women and men if I could avoid it.
 
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  • Candise
    Candise says #
    What beautifully, raw feedback Jason. Thank you for relating and sharing your similar jaunt aping this rainbow path Home. Many
  • Jason Leslie Rogers
    Jason Leslie Rogers says #
    Candise, Thank you for taking the time to write this. It spoke to and encouraged me. I can particularly relate (right now, at le
The Bridge Between my Head and my Feet

 

I love my higher chakras. I've loved them for as long as I can remember.

Singing and chattering away from the moment I knew how to make sound, I revelled in my fifth chakra, the fifth chakra is the chakra of expression, it is the space that we speak our truth from, the centre for singing, speaking, writing and creating.

...
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  • Candise
    Candise says #
    Thank you Jen. It's so great to relate to others! It's been a journey and it's totally been worth it, you're definitely not the on
  • Jen McConnel
    Jen McConnel says #
    Thank you so much for sharing this!! Like you, I've always been more comfortable in my higher chakras. It's taken years of yoga pr

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Shamanic Astrology ~ The Life Changer

Many moons ago, (or Fifteen years ago, )as a Maiden, wild and lost, I went on a first date with someone with a real gem, this date opened the door to heartaches too deep for me to reminisce at this juncture, however, I did take one thing from this first date that stuck with me for the rest of my life. . My painful memories are tempered by the fact that along with a broken heart, this manboy gave me a beautiful gift. He ignited the interest in what was to become one of my greatest loves, Astrology.

When we first met, he asked me what my sign was, and informed me that we were perfectly compatible. Bemused, I told him that I had no idea what any of this meant. He was astonished, since apparently "all Scorpios are into astrology." Really? I hadn't known. Later that week I picked up an astrology book, to see what it was that I was 'supposed' to be drawn to, and there it was, love at first read.

...
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Priestessing as a Verb
I first began to utilize 'Priestessing' as a verb during my second week postpartum.
 
During that time I texted my childhood friend, Melanie, from the couch that I was unable to leave. Being stuck on the couch was a surprising situation for me to be in, for while I had planned on doing a 40 day sit in with my newborn Maiden, I hadn't planned on my carefully planned for home water birth becoming a C-section, nor for the recovery time that it would entail. Least of all was I planning on getting an infected cyst inside of my inner thigh just as I began to get the strength to be up and about for extended periods of time on my own.
 
I had envisioned the sit in being peaceful (which for the most part it was) and myself floating around on a cloud, wearing my baby, breastfeeding and napping, and, while I did nap and breastfed with her consistently I was definitely not floating nor was I wearing her. My stomach incision was too painful and at the moment that I was texting Melanie I was sitting on gauze pads sans pants or underwear oozing pus and blood onto the pad as my baby slept nestled in my arm. I was in shock from an operation that I wasn't expecting, new Motherhood hormones and that darn infected cyst. To top it all off, I  was only 8 days into my 40 day sit~in I was starting to feel stir crazy. 
 
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  • Candise
    Candise says #
    I'm so glad, thank you Molly
  • Molly
    Molly says #
    Came back to re-read this today. Still love it!
  • Molly
    Molly says #
    Loved this very much!
  • Candise
    Candise says #
    Thank you so much, Molly. xx

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