The rite is complete. I turn to bestow the final blessing, and see something that I have never seen before in ritual: people preparing themselves to receive the blessing that I am about to pronounce.
Some bow their heads and lower their eyes. Some pull themselves up straight. Some brace to receive, as if I'm about to throw something at them. I suppose that, in a sense, I am.
The trust, and strength, of this so-willing self-opening moves me deeply, and calls forth a corresponding tenderness within me.
A tear courses down my cheek. I raise my arms and pronounce the final words.
Engagement is a monumental occasion in a person’s life, and so of course it should be celebrated with a little magic to bless your union! The important thing to remember in the engagement process is to make sure you share similar ideas about the path of life. Being engaged is a time to make sure you are compatible on many levels as you enjoy the romance. You will need to have frank discussions on career, home, health, children, sex, and the expectations you have for yourself and your partner in all these areas.
Sometimes when we are in love, we expect people to simply “know” what we want. Magical people expect that even more, feeling that their partner is so intuitive that they should be able to anticipate each other’s actions and opinions on these aspects of life. Though it would be ideal, that’s not realistic thinking. Sometimes it can be hardest to read those with whom we are closest. A good relationship requires good communication. This formalized engagement ritual involves dream sharing, and therefore, it should only be done after such frank discussions so that nothing comes as a shock. Preparing to perform this ritual is a good way to initiate such talks. It can be done right after the acceptance or at any point later in the engagement process. Just make sure you are both aware of each other’s ideas of the future before you begin your life together. When you are ready to move forward and begin the ritual, first go someplace comfortable where you will not be disturbed. This ritual can be done in your home or even at a quiet restaurant or coffee shop. Perhaps you’ll want to take your love to the place where you first dated.
Throughout your practice, make sure to maintain a sense of personal abundance and acknowledge the great spirit within you. Be grateful for your body and for your health. Stand in front of a mirror, preferably naked, and drop all self-criticism. Concentrate on your real beauty and envelop yourself with unconditional self-love. Wrap your arms around yourself as you say:
Essential elements for this ritual are one candle of your favorite color, a candle holder, copal or cinnamon essential oil to represent spirituality, paper and pen, a ritual knife, and any visual aids you may require, such as photos, tarot cards, or a drawing of a deity you have made or found specifically for this ritual. Carefully select a representation of a deity with whom you feel a connection or who you believe will be benevolent toward your intention.
The “body” of the ritual refers to the act itself. It will further your intention if you carve related symbols and power words into your candle with the tip of your knife. Anoint the candle with the essential oil you have chosen. Dressing the candle with the oil from top to bottom adds the influence of attraction to your spell. Conversely, dressing the oil in the opposite direction, from bottom to top, adds banishing power to your spell.
When I moved to San Francisco, I didn’t know a soul, but I used this tried-and-true trick to fill my life with friends.
On the first Friday after a new moon (Freya’s Day, which is ruled by Venus, is ideal for fun, love, flirtation, gossip, and good times), light amber incense. Anoint yourself with amber oil and dance around, arms flung out and upward. Say aloud:
I call upon you, friend Freya, to fill my life with live and joy. I call upon you,
Goddess, to bring unto me that which I enjoy in the form of people, wise and kind. This I ask and give thanks for; blessed be.
Often, there is a name given at birth based on that of an ancestor or family member. Later, when a child has come of age, another name is given to acknowledge maturation. This tradition needs to be revived, and I believe it is a wonderful rite of passage to institute in the lives of young people today, who are so desperately in need of community support and inclusion. Of all the wonderful customs of the world, my favorite baby naming custom comes from joining the names of the parents. For example, if the father’s name is Robert and the mother is named Carolyn, you could name the baby Roblyn. Christina and Toby’s child could be Christoby, or if you needed a more conventional version, Cristobel. Anna and Justin’s child could be named Justina. The possibilities are endless, as you can see. They don’t always work well, however, so Filipino families sometimes end up using the names of grandparents, godparents, and the revered “aunties,” women who are not actually related but are very special friends of the family. Sometimes they choose to overlook the custom entirely and opt for outside names, but naming is alive and well in this modern age.
Here is a ceremony for a baby naming as performed by the wonderful Viray family, a joyous and generous “tribe” of Filipinos that stretches from Indiana to California to many of the Philippine Islands.
I feel blessed by the people I have in my life, and, every once in a while, I make a point of showing my appreciation. Here is a surefire way to let your friends know they are loved. You will receive the blessing tenfold in return.
You will need: chairs, scarves or ribbons, fluffy towels, a big bowl, almond oil, hot water, scented soap, and scented body lotion.
Invite your friends over. The group need not be large; remember, smaller is more intimate. Begin by catching up, and after half an hour, form a circle with your chairs.
Thesseli
You should post on Substack too, where you won't have to worry about being deplatformed or kicked off the site for your views. (Also, I've archived th...
David Dashifen Kees
I feel it necessary to state, unequivocally, that anti-trans points of view are not an essential part of Paganism. As a trans Pagan myself who helps ...
Meredith Gladwell
I wish there were "like" buttons on here, so I'll just do the longhand and say I like this! lol...but really, great idea, thank you. Can't go wrong wi...
