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Subscribe to this list via RSS Blog posts tagged in grief
Dead and Back Again: Part 2 - Grief and Healing

While I was in labor with my stillborn baby, I remember telling my midwife that I spent the first thirty years of my life depressed and I would NOT allow this tragedy to drag me back there.  She smiled through her tears and told me I might not have a choice in the matter. 

 

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  • Niki
    Niki says #
    Thank you so much for sharing your grief. So many people don't know how to share it or that they can.
Dead and Back Again: This Mama's Experience

Most people would call what happened to me a “near-death” experience, I suppose.  Afterall, I am alive to write about it, three and a half months later.

When I think of what it is like to nearly die, I think about the time that crazy person driving the semi nearly ran me off the interstate at eighty or so miles an hour.

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  • Helena
    Helena says #
    Amazing story. Thank you for sharing it!
  • Ashley Rae
    Ashley Rae says #
    Thank you, Helena!

Posted by on in Culture Blogs

In my last post, I talked about going to the John Edward show and getting a metaphorical smack.  Since then I’ve had some interesting things happen.  I read tarot.  I love the tarot and feel very connected to certain decks.  I have one I use for me every time no matter what.  I’ve tried doing readings for myself with other decks and they just don’t resonate like this one deck.  I use the deck for other people as well and always have the best readings with this one deck.  I’ve stopped buying other decks.  I like other decks but they don’t work as well as this one deck I use.

My daughter’s friend called me out of the blue and asked if I would do a reading for her.  I’ve not read for her in probably ten years or more.  She believes but has not come back to me for a reading since I did one which told her a male energy was going to come into her life and have a significant influence on her.  (Shortly after, the reading she got pregnant with her first son.)

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Posted by on in SageWoman Blogs
Time for melancholy

In theory Pagans honour the dark half of the year as well as the light, bright growing times. However, in practice we spend autumn talking about harvest, and while we do acknowledge the dead at Samhain, midwinter tends to be more about the return of the light than the deep darkness. There are many things the wheel of the year doesn’t give us much space to honour and explore. Loss, misery, nostalgia, regret, and despair don’t really find a place.

Of course it’s tempting to focus on the ‘good stuff’ in life – what seeds are you planting this spring, where’s your fertility for Beltain, what have you harvested, and lo, the sun is reborn and round we go again! However, if you don’t have a lover, and your health is poor or your plans aren’t working out, then these are tough things to celebrate and it can feel like there’s no room for your experiences amongst everyone else’s cheerful optimism. The wheel of the year encourages us to look forward in hope, not fear, and not to look back except when we can be pleased by the results.

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Posted by on in SageWoman Blogs
Gifts Hidden In Loss

On February 21, 2015 my second son, Galen, was stillborn.

I wrote out the whole traumatic story, then found myself reluctant to share it.  I wish what happened to me would never happen to anyone else.  So I'm not going to share the details in blog form.  Maybe in my next memoir.

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  • Ann Franke
    Ann Franke says #
    Thank you, Ashley, for sharing your wisdom from this truly painful experience. My condolences on your profound loss.
  • Lia Hunter
    Lia Hunter says #
    Thank you for sharing the beautiful lessons you learned from your community and from your son with the name of a healer. Another
  • Ashley Rae
    Ashley Rae says #
    Thank you, Lia.
  • Anne Newkirk Niven
    Anne Newkirk Niven says #
    This has to be one of the bravest, saddest, and more amazing blog posts I have ever read on this or any other site. My heart break
  • Ashley Rae
    Ashley Rae says #
    Thank you, Anne.
Ferguson, and why we can't turn a blind eye anymore

 

Actual unedited footage from Ferguson, MO. The clip should start at 8:20, if not, fast forward to it, if you want to see how American citizens are being treated. Why do our police look like an invading force?

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  • Greybeard
    Greybeard says #
    In very ancient tribal (pagan) cultures the killing of a man from one tribe required the killing of a man from the other tribe to

Posted by on in Studies Blogs
Viking Grief

One of the most moving poems by the Viking poet/magician/farmer Egil Skallagrimsson was one he wrote lamenting the death of his favourite son Böðvarr who drowned at sea, and his son Gunnar who died of fever. In skaldic form the twenty-five verses give voice to his sorrow with passion and beauty. Normally Vikings assuaged loss with revenge but there is no one to attack for these deaths.

Egil composes the poem after vowing to kill himself by starvation, unwilling to live in a world without his son. His daughter Þorgerður tells him she will die with him, but tricks him into drinking some milk and spoiling his hunger strike. She then suggests that the best way to memorialise her brother is to compose a suitable poem in his honour so that he will live forever.

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