Inherently, I don't like meditation because I feel like it's one long exercise of someone else telling me what to do. If you've been reading me for any length of time, you know how well I respond to being told what to do except in very specific consensual contexts. The second you tell me to close my eyes and make that mandatory and not optional, you've lost me.
Needless to say, this has been problematic in my budding yoga practice. It is one of many problems with my budding yoga practice. Almost everyone in my classes looks like a sexy yoga toned sex kitten who effortlessly flows from one movement to another. I spend a lot of time in class wondering why non-waifs don't do yoga. I also spend a lot of time in class wondering if I will ever be able to do half the movements being done as my boobs impede my entire life. Every time I say this, it's like a revelation so I'll say it again. If you are above a DD cup, everything is not awesome. Everything is not awesome at all. First, try spending less than $80 a bra if you are not in the Lane Bryant spectrum. I get three bras at a time and I have to replace them every six months. Yeah. For reals. Second, buying a bathing suit is like the fourth ring of hell. Third, sexy nightgowns? You are the hilar. They don't exist for us. My boobs never fit in the designated boob area. Fourth, athletics are super difficult to do because you have two quart sized baggies of peanut butter hanging from your chest. Fifth, good posture is a pipe dream.
Mantra (mantram in the singular) are an important part of spiritual practice in many religious traditions. They are a core component of individual sadhana (discipline) and of the work done together in community, serving on multiple levels to effectuate transformation. Individuals, for example, may perform japa, the recitation of a particular mantram on a mala (rosary), to meditate and gain access to places of deeper insight. Spiritual practitioners working together may use mantra during puja (worship) to evoke the divine essence.
It is the vibration of sound in each case that forges a link between this world and the unseen realm. Mantra in this way can aid the seeker in harnessing the potency of one of the underlying truths of Tantra. The metaphysics state that a connection exists between the reality we experience through our bodies and the ripples left in space-time by the Divine moving into and out of the cycle of life on Earth. It offers that this provides a glimpse at (and potential access to) the unfathomable Goddess. With just the smallest fraction of this power—Shakti—in our midst, we may be able to overcome the burden of our karmas and become whole.
When I'm stressed, time speeds up and so do I. I talk faster and my words run together. I rush around trying to do more than one thing at a time. In a hurry, I forget important things and make mistakes that take away more precious time, increasing my stress. My heart beats faster. I breathe faster. I move faster and more violently. I anger more quickly. I react without thinking. Stress hormones overwhelm my body, damaging each organ and system, and my body tries to communicate with me though pain, nausea, headaches, exhaustion, cravings. If I stay in a state of stress too long, my poor body burns out and I get sick.
In the beginning of my healing journey, I read a lot of books that encouraged me to change what I thought, to change my words and thoughts from negative to positive. Instead of thinking, "I'm so stressed out," I tried to think, "I am at peace."
Jamie
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