When I was eleven or twelve, my family took an epic road trip. We traveled from Michigan to the east coast, stopping in Washington, D.C., as well as visiting some family friends who lived near one of Virginia’s beaches. It was my first time meeting the ocean, and the part of the long trip I was looking forward to most.
I still remember the heady feeling of the waves carrying me as I floated, waiting on my borrowed boogie board, the taste of salt in my mouth. It was magical, and I fell in love with the ocean that day.
I didn't ever guess that motherhood would be my spiritual path. When I was a really little girl I dreamed, as many little girls do, of having a baby. As I grew older my soul longed for something deep and mystical and all around me in my small hometown I saw people having babies and then working jobs that they didn't enjoy to pay for those babies. Motherhood seemed common and boring, I certainly didn't ever consider being a stay-at-home mom and put very little weight into what motherhood would entail for me.
I have felt a strong pull to walk a mystical life ever since I can remember. When I was three years old I was disturbed that a girl in my junior kindergarten class was continually missing due to illness, I approached my Mom with my concern and she suggested we say a prayer for her. From that moment on I asked to pray for Anna every night, I would report to my teachers the next morning that I had been praying for Anna to be well. At the end of that year I proudly carried home the 'prayer' badge that I had been awarded.
As life continued and I grew older, I struggled with anxiety and depression throughout my formative years, the world felt heavy and my pull to the Divine was strong, I didn't know how to find Heaven on Earth and I spent many years thinking that death was my only doorway Home. At the age of 18 I opened up the first of many, many books that explained to me how to experience spirit on Earth. Hope was planted. By 21 I had fully committed myself to walking a spirit led path and left behind mind altering chemicals and began to practice a way of life that required mindfulness, taking stock of my life, amending past harms and a daily surrender to a Higher Power that I call Goddess to guide my thoughts and actions.
I’m waiting here, on the precipice of another rebirth, contemplating what I’ve learned during this long, quiet gestation. Any day now, I’ll be reborn as a mother of two, and this baby is already teaching me, and reinforcing lessons I learned from my first, like how to relax when confronted with things beyond my control.
Today I find myself reflecting on the most important lessons I’ve learned since becoming a mother of one six years ago. In no particular order, here are my top three.
Autumn is my favorite season. As the Autumnal Equinox/Mabon/Alban Elfed approaches, I’m thinking of how this season has always carried a sense of magic and spirit… of descent into the sacred secrets of time… a place of reckoning, with a wise power that can see you as you go, while all the foliate cover falls away… a place where truth can’t hide. Truth is powerful and healing and terrible and cleansing and undeniable, and this is the cathartic season where you feast on it, and it feasts on you.
I was taken by surprise when I realized that this blog is already a year old! A YEAR!!! The wheel has completed an entire turning and this burgeoning hedge has covered some ground!
Time has flown because school had me so preoccupied. I have loved the way time has slowed this summer, and I'm feeling like a floating blossom in the slower time-stream, rather than a twig bobbing madly in the faster one I had been in!
The past few weeks have found me focused on a personal project of connecting to the lunar energies. As a practicing witch I have worked with the lunar energies regularly for many years. I have worked ritual, written poetry and offered up praise to Her in all of her phases. So, it would seem that my connection is very deep already. The beauty of this Path, however, is that there is always something more that can be learned. Something new that can be experienced and a deeper level of knowing that can be brought into your work.
I have been on a mission to fully experience the energies of the Moon in all of her cycles and through the lunation of travel through the Zodiacal Wheel. Having a good working knowledge of astrology and planetary magick helps this journey, but the intent of connection to the phases of cycle is not dependent on it. I am also an Air sun sign, so analysis comes more readily than the emotional and feeling nature. This is precisely why I felt this work would be very productive.