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With the onset of autumn marks the beginning of the holiday season. For people estranged from their biological kin, this can be a difficult time of the year; however, planning ahead can lessen the dread or denial you may feel and turn your sprint through the annual holiday corridor into a meaningful stroll filled with love. Planning ahead is critical to do this, though. Feeling condemned because your former family is no longer in your life and, therefore, neither should joyful holiday celebrations, is not true. Celebration is a human right and how, when, and with whom you do so is entirely up to you--an aggressive family doesn't get to decide that for you. Ever.

Realizing with the onset of cooler temperatures and the calendar that has been turned to November that again this year, and probably forever, you will not be spending Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Winter Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, or New Year's celebrations with people who were once your family can pierce you to the quick. This is especially true for folks who believed that grieving for their lost family was over and that it was all water under the bridge now--that you've worked on your recovery and done deep healing so that the worst part of the shock is over. Then, a picture of a turkey with smiling relatives around it makes your heart flutter...the first snow makes your chest ache, and the smell of certain foods cooking reminds you of old memories, real or imagined, from times of childhood when needs were not met, emotional or physical. Ruminating on your losses, wondering, once again, how the situation with your family came to be, and considering, futilely, how another outcome could have been possible, swirls in your mind. This is tiring and can keep you up at night, even put a dark cloud over the bright autumnal skies that are there for you to enjoy.

I stand rooted here on the earth and offer my gratitude.
I turn to the East and offer gratitude for the air I breathe.
I turn to the South and offer gratitude for the fire of my spirit.
I turn to the West and offer gratitude for river, lake, stream, and ocean.
I turn to the North and offer gratitude for stone, tree, and bone.
I touch the earth and offer gratitude for this land I call home.
I reach towards the sky and offer gratitude for sun and stars.
I place my hand on my heart and breathe deep,
offering gratitude for all that I am and all that I have
and for the many blessings of my life.

Thank you.

You are enough.

Our updated Gratitude Ritual Kit is available for you here.

And, our Winter Magic class has begun and is free too!

I spent some time with the new Three Cauldrons layout that is included in the ritual kit and my results were so perfect. I DO need freedom, hearth-tending, and making sacred/blessing as the core components of keeping my cauldrons tended. I actually laughed aloud when I saw the Wand show up in my “Contribution” cauldron.

The Three Cauldrons are those of Vitality, Connection, and Contribution.

Way back when I was a teenager, we’d often have Thanksgiving dinner with my Aunt Darla and her family.  Poor Aunt Darla.  She tried very hard to make us all come together like a “normal” family, which often ended up as a weak and awkward parody of whatever it was that “normal” families did.  I remember that during dinner she’d make us, one by one, share with the group what we were most thankful for.  I hated doing this because I really just wanted to shovel potatoes into my mouth and eventually get to the pie.  Even as a kid I found this “tradition” to be a bit forced and artificial.  Also I thought I was totally too-cool-for-school to be genuine and vulnerable, and in front of my family, too!  Ew!  (Plus I just knew my cousins would tease me later, regardless of what I said.)

Well, nearly two decades later and my aunt would be pleased to know that at least one of her weird tradition stuck with me.  The awkward vulnerability of thankfulness lives on!  In the spirit of Aunt Darla I spent the past two weeks forcing (okay, politely and therapeutically suggesting) that the kids I work with create lists of the things they thankful for this year.  Even the kids who are usually “too cool for school” (relatable) seemed to enjoy this project, and it was a lot of fun to learn about what these children value and why.  Being thankful for Mom and Dad came as no surprise to me.  Siblings and school were items I never would have thought to include on my own list but often showed up for my clients.  Food and Star Wars, however, are both something my clients and I are consistently thankful for.

With grief levels running deep in the United States and the world due to various global events, that now includes the recent American presidential election, some balm for our souls is needed.The American Thanksgiving holiday is two days away, yet many of us have heavy hearts. The true Thanksgiving story is a bleak part of our history that, this year, I will not repeat in my blog. Instead, let's take each others' hands now and be quiet together as we turn our minds to our origins.

The place for healing is always the stories of our people, whoever our ancestors are. Here on Turtle Island the original Story Keepers are Indigenous, and their stories infuse the land, waters, trees, rocks, and whole of life. The European settlers brought their stories here; stories that, if you go back far enough, are also filled with love of land. Though the stories of Turtle Island belong to Native Americans, all Americans can respect, learn from, and take solace in them.

"There is a fire song in the depths of your soul that makes your heart sing. It doesn't matter if no one else can hear your melody, this is your song, not theirs. So move to your own beat and dance to your own drum. Follow your light and see where it leads. This is your story; this is your dream."

 Now the falling of the leaves, now the shortening day:

for Summer is a-going out, and Winter's on the way.

You won't find our Autumn Evenday ritual in any Book of Shadows.

In some ways, it looks more like Thanksgiving at your mother's house.

Well, assuming your mother was Sybil Leek.

After all, this is Witches' Thanksgiving.