Paganistan: Notes from the Secret Commonwealth
In Which One Midwest Man-in-Black Confers, Converses & Otherwise Hob-Nobs with his Fellow Hob-Men (& -Women) Concerning the Sundry Ways of the Famed but Ill-Starred Tribe of Witches.
Watching Superbowl Reduces IQ by Up to 25 Points, Study Says
AP: Minneapolis
Watching the Superbowl makes you stupider.
That's what a new study at the University of Minnesota shows.
“The long-term evidence is irrefutable,” says Dr. Stefano Pozzo of U of M Fairview Hospital. “More than 30 years of clinical data demonstrate a clear correlation between football-watching and loss of intelligence.”
IQ tests administered before and after watching the Superbowl show a clear decline of intellectual capacity in virtually all watchers, ranging from a loss of 2-3 points to as many as 25 points.
“The real surprise,” said Pozzo, “is that anyone should be surprised to hear this. Any objective observer can see that American football is a stupid and brutal game. It makes those that play it stupid and brutal, and—as the evidence now shows—it makes those that watch it stupid and brutal as well.”
In fact, data suggests a strong correlation between football-watching generally and cognitive decline among fans, but for some reason Superbowl watchers are more strongly affected.
“We call it the 'Stupidbowl Effect', but the reasons remain as yet unclear,” adds Pozzo. “Clearly, more research is needed.”
He smiles.
“Maybe it's the food,” he says.
It's satire, folks.
Or is it?
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