In response to the letter pictured above:

Dear neighbor who is leaving me chick tracts,

I am writing because I was unable to reach you personally. Many people in the world wonder how an omnipotent, omniscient god could or would allow some of the things that happen in our world. You have questions, I have answers, my friend.

There is no one true god. There are many gods, and those gods do not represent themselves as static, perfect entities, because nature abhors stasis. It's okay to just worship one god, by the way, and that's called henotheism. But back to the imperfect gods:

You may be scratching your head and wondering what you can hold on to then, in this ever-changing world. I have the answer to that as well: it is change itself.

You may not know how to embrace change, but I am here to show you the way. Let me introduce you to my Lord, Loki. He is an agent of change, a bringer of unpredictability.

But why would anyone want to worship someone so unpredictable?

Because change is an inevitability, like death itself. Change can be fun. It can bring out new sides of you that are lying hidden. It can bring you joy. It can show you new ways in which you belong to a community or the land you live in.

Speaking of land, can I also introduce you to Lord Frey and Lady Freyja? They are gods of land, of sunshine, fresh air, good food, and good sex. They can also teach you things, like how to enjoy the body that you live in, how to nourish it and in turn nourish the earth that you came from, because a mutual respect between humanity and the Land itself is needed to restore an ecological balance.

Are food and a healthy environment just okay, but you’re really attached to your iPhone? That’s okay, I can introduce you to Hermes, Lord of Communications. In our information age, has any Deity ever been so relevant? Jump in your car, plug in your phone for directions? All Hermes. You can thank Him yourself.

Do you like bacon? You can thank Gwydion for poetry, passion, and pork-related deliciousness. I know that you may have concerns about Gwydion or any number of other deities. Here's the thing: they were around before the monotheistic worldview They will be here after monotheism is gone. They will be waiting patiently (well, at least some of Them) for us to pull our collective heads out of our asses.

and finally, I leave you with the words of the All-Father:

"42. To his friend a man | a friend shall prove,
And gifts with gifts requite;
But men shall mocking | with mockery answer,
And fraud with falsehood meet."

Merry meet,
Your Pagan Friend