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As it becomes clear that the Pagan community is not at all immune to harassing, abusive, and bigoted behavior, we need to respond by crafting safety (or anti-harassment) policies for our groups and our events. And, learn how to properly enforce these. This post is not meant to be all-inclusive, but rather, a start to the conversation. I hear from folks all the time that are overwhelmed at the prospect of adopting a safety policy.

TL;DR-- At the end, I'm going to post links to a few examples of safety/anti-harassment policies. I'm also going to dig around for some inclusivity policies. Sometimes those are separate, sometimes they are together. These are useful to pull from as a template so that you aren't starting with a blank page.

Here's something that came up in my leadership/community building class at Pantheacon. When someone engages in poor behavior in a public setting, it must also be dealt with publicly. While there may be a private component to the process (mediation meeting, taking the person aside to offer them feedback, etc.) the behavior must still be dealt with in as public a fashion as it originally happened. 

Why? Because otherwise the other people who experienced the harm/observed the behavior have no idea what's going on. This becomes especially important as more organizations adopt safety/anti-harassment policies. If people in the group/at the event observe the safety policy being violated, then they must see how the safety policy is being upheld.

I have heard from many people who felt pressured to undergo a sexual initiation with a teacher, coven leader, or other person in a leadership position. If someone's been pressured into sex, that's manipulation and abuse. And in circumstances where there wasn’t actually consent, by definition, it’s rape.

Part 3 in a series. Read Part 1 here.

This post is part two of the Becoming Pariahs and When Mentors Fail series. Start with Part One here.

I have been trying to write about my experiences at the Diana's Grove Mystery School for years--my experience of codependency, of enabling, of abusive behavior. Of a group of people that did brilliant work and taught leadership and yet fell prey to human nature all the same. I have fought fistfights in my head--to speak the truth about the inner dynamics of the Mystery School, or to protect the many people I love who would be hurt if I spoke up. But I hear about so many unhealthy dynamics in Pagan groups that mirror what I went through, and how many people have been damaged by a charismatic yet abusive leader, I feel that to not address the dynamics of the place where I did my own leadership training would be unethical.

Some of us are haunted by the idea of perfection. It holds us back from our creative work; from any of our important work, for that matter. We fear we won't be able to do justice to the idea in our head. We've tried writing or painting or dancing, and somehow the brilliance of what we envision becomes corrupted as soon as we try to make it manifest. And there's that nagging voice in the back of our heads telling us what we have always known...that we're not good enough. That we will never have the skill to create what we dream of. That if it's not perfect, they'll deride us, they'll tease us. They'll reject us. Nobody will like us.