All right, I'm just going to say it.
If you think that your paganism is just a matter of your personal relationship with the gods, you're wrong.
Or, at least, you're only partially right.
All realized paganisms are tribal. They're the religions of a particular group. If in the old days you had asked someone “What's your religion?”, they would (assuming that they understood what you meant by “religion”) have answered you: “My religion is the [Name of Tribe or People] religion.”
That's the way that the Kalasha—the last remaining Indo-European-speaking people who have practiced their traditional religion continuously since antiquity—talk about their religion to this day.
Let me give you an example. I'm a Witch. My religion is the Witch religion.
The ancestors, of course, didn't know that they were pagan. Now we do. It's a situation analogous to that of American First Nations. Before Columbus, they didn't think of themselves as a collective group. They thought of themselves in terms of their own people: Dakota, Anishinabe, Ho-Chunk, etc. It wasn't until later that they began to see themselves as Indigenous Americans, a group sharing a common identity.
It's like that with us, too. Now we see that, beyond our immediate tribal affiliations, we've got shared concerns with others that we perceive as being unlike ourselves: that, in fact, we share a common identity.
The old Hwicce (Witch) language had two words that dictionaries define as “tribe, people, nation”: thede and lede.
(1000 years ago, that would have been þéod and léod, but of course, that was 1000 years ago, and language changes just like everything else.)
Here's the difference between the two terms: your thede is your immediate tribe; your lede is your tribe's tribe.
So as for me, I'm Witch by thede, Pagan by lede. The Kalasha girls shown above dancing at the Joshi (Spring) festival are Pagan by lede, Kalasha by thede.
Land, lede, lore: these are the three constituent parts of every realized paganism.
That many of us aren't quite there yet is no matter for either shame or shond (= embarrassment, shame imposed from without). Against all odds, we're bringing to life again ways that have been dead for many, many years. So, for lack of other options, we're having to learn to become the pagans that we need to be, and that our time needs us to become, by trial and error. You can't realistically expect us to get things right every time.
If you're reading this, chances are that you already know who your lede is. As for your thede, well, if you don't know just yet, it's a question well worth the answering.
I wish you luck of the hunt.