Paganistan: Notes from the Secret Commonwealth

In Which One Midwest Man-in-Black Confers, Converses & Otherwise Hob-Nobs with his Fellow Hob-Men (& -Women) Concerning the Sundry Ways of the Famed but Ill-Starred Tribe of Witches.

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An Open Letter to Religious Opponents of the Equality Act



Introduced in Congress on February 18, 2021, H. R. 5, the Equality Act, offers the most far-reaching legal protections for sexual and gender minorities so far seen in the United States. Predictably enough, religious conservatives are whining about how it violates their “God”-given right to discriminate.

Sounds to me like time for a little well-earned satire.


April 10, 1864



I was appalled sir, absolutely appalled, to hear of your support for the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, abolishing slavery in the United States.

I would like to remind you, sir, that the Bible—both Old and New Testaments, sir—not only universally accepts the institution of slavery, but in fact presupposes it. Slavery, sir, is part of God's plan for the world.

Thus, sir, I have a God-given right to own another human being.

Your so-called amendment violates my religious freedom.

I hereby demand that you withdraw your support for this egregious legislation immediately.

Yours most sincerely,


Matthias McConnell





Note to the Reader:

It is certainly not my intent in this piece to compare the current situation of sexual and gender minorities in the US, bad as that can be, to the abomination that was human enslavement. What I'm satirizing here—and how many times have we seen it—is those who believe that their religion gives them license to do anything to anyone.


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Poet, scholar and storyteller Steven Posch was raised in the hardwood forests of western Pennsylvania by white-tailed deer. (That's the story, anyway.) He emigrated to Paganistan in 1979 and by sheer dint of personality has become one of Lake Country's foremost men-in-black. He is current keeper of the Minnesota Ooser.


  • Jamie
    Jamie Saturday, 03 April 2021

    Mr. Posch,

    That may be satire, but I'll bet solid money that plenty of letters got sent by angry, pro-slavery, Christian white folks. Those letters were undoubtedly similar in content to your satirical one.

  • Steven Posch
    Steven Posch Monday, 05 April 2021

    Plus ca change....

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