Paganistan: Notes from the Secret Commonwealth

In Which One Midwest Man-in-Black Confers, Converses & Otherwise Hob-Nobs with his Fellow Hob-Men (& -Women) Concerning the Sundry Ways of the Famed but Ill-Starred Tribe of Witches.

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In Which Boss Warlock Reveals the Secrets of Eternal Youth

The Devils Book Our beautiful Wall Art ...

Hey Boss Warlock:

OK, I've seen you: basically, you haven't changed for decades. Clearly, you've discovered the secret of eternal youth.

So 'fess up. Did you find a portrait-painter à la Dorian Grey or something?

Aging in Aiken


Dear Aging:

Clearly, you've forgotten your witchly lore.

Sell your soul to the Horned One, get eternal youth, eternal beauty, erections for hours, etc.


Then there's the Boss Warlock Five-Point Health Plan:

  • Keep active, physically and spiritually.
  • Keep engaged/interested.
  • Spend some time sitting cross-legged on the ground every day.
  • Shit squatting.
  • Have at least one orgasm every day.

(Nobody wants to hear about discipline, but thou mayest not be a witch without it.)

Then there's the food:

  • Eat low on the food chain, mostly plants.
  • In general, stick to whole grains and natural sweeteners: honey, maple syrup, etc.
  • Eat some beans every day.
  • Eat allium—onions and garlic—every day.
  • Eat tomatoes (in some incarnation or other) every day.
  • Eat raw greens every day.
  • Eat cooked greens every day.
  • Eat some sort of cruciferous vegetable (= cabbage and kin) every day.
  • Eat some sort of orange vegetable every day.

Mostly importantly of all, eat real. By real, I mean close to the source: the closer, the better. Local is better than shipped. Real meat is better than faux, dairy milk than plant, whole grains than refined. You get the picture.

Oh, and top of the list, Aging: get your butt out to the woods stat, give Him a call, and sign that Book like you really mean it.

Hey, Midsummer's Eve is coming up. Signed on then myself.

Good luck (and merry Midsummer's),

Boss Warlock



Do you have a question?

Boss Warlock has an answer.

Write him c/o PaganSquare











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Poet, scholar and storyteller Steven Posch was raised in the hardwood forests of western Pennsylvania by white-tailed deer. (That's the story, anyway.) He emigrated to Paganistan in 1979 and by sheer dint of personality has become one of Lake Country's foremost men-in-black. He is current keeper of the Minnesota Ooser.


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