How many Old Craft witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
—If candles were good enough for the ancestors, they're good enough for me.
A buddy had signed up for a correspondence course in a certain Wiccan trad. I asked him how it was going.
He told me about the first lesson. It was all about what color candle to burn in order to get what you want: green for money, purple for passion, that sort of thing.
Well, at least you've got to give them credit for going for results from the very beginning.
He says nothing; neither do I. I think about the definition of authenticity that a couple of friends and I hashed out over the course of one particularly gratifying weekend together years ago: Contextual cognitive resonance. I ask myself how long dyed candles have been around. Early to mid “20th” century, maybe?
Colored candles. This is your witchcraft?
There was no need to say any more. We both knew that he wouldn't be continuing with the course.
We move on to another topic.