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Paganistan: Notes from the Secret Commonwealth

In Which One Midwest Man-in-Black Confers, Converses & Otherwise Hob-Nobs with his Fellow Hob-Men (& -Women) Concerning the Sundry Ways of the Famed but Ill-Starred Tribe of Witches.

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Thirteen Things to Do with Giant Zucchini

Posted by on in Culture Blogs
Thirteen Things to Do with Giant Zucchini

Gods help us, it's that time of year again.

Wait one day too long, and watch those tender little fingerlings balloon overnight to forearm-sized (if not thigh-sized) behemoths. What to do?

 

Hollow them out for snake o' lanterns.

Play Harvest Softball with zucchini and green tomatoes.

Carve wooden shoes.

Float them in lakes and let people worry about alligators.

Make a dugout canoe.

Build a raft.

Bomb Raqqa.

Raise one as a Maypole.

Move in.

Slice them into 2 x 4s.

Build a log cabin.

Build a stockade.

Squash-henge.

 

 

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Poet, scholar and storyteller Steven Posch was raised in the hardwood forests of western Pennsylvania by white-tailed deer. (That's the story, anyway.) He emigrated to Paganistan in 1979 and by sheer dint of personality has become one of Lake Country's foremost men-in-black. He is current keeper of the Minnesota Ooser.
http://stevenposch.com/
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Comments

  • Haley
    Haley Friday, 14 July 2017

    Build a zucchini man to burn for the fields.

    Recreate your very own Tower of Babel.

  • Steven Posch
    Steven Posch Saturday, 15 July 2017

    Fifteen!

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