Solitary: A Self-Directed Spiritual Life

Let's talk. Come sit with me under a tree or by a lake while we chat about being alone in our practice and our beliefs. Solitary practitioners choose this path for many reasons and have a unique perspective. As a solitary witch, I want to share how I keep true to my beliefs and practices whether I'm working on my own, in a small group or attending a large group gathering. Author of Moon Affirmations, meditations based on the phase of the moon.

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Lone Initiation

There are countless books which will tell you the right way to do your initiation.  I’ve read a number of them, both for covens and for solitary.  None of them spoke to me. 

Normally I’m a simple, as little fuss as possible, type of person.  Once I felt I was ready to declare my beliefs, I decided to do a ritual – full out, go for broke ritual.  I had it typed up, planned out, everything was going to go PERFECT. 

A friend was going to come and do the ritual with me but at the last minute she backed out.  I was going to wait until she could come but opted to just go ahead.  It was supposed to be a clear autumn night with the full moon out shining down on my dedication.  Why I picked the full moon I don’t know.  I work better with dark moon energy.  I had this vision of how the night would go with me standing in the pine trees beside our house, the moon shining down and the magic sizzling through the air. 

Mother Nature took care of it for me.  It was overcast and drizzling.  I had all my tools ready and waiting.  It was all in baskets so I could carry it myself without help from anyone.  All my symbols, candles, and everything.  Even though things had gone wrong already, in my head I knew everything was going to be perfect. 

It wasn’t.  The weather didn’t cooperate.  My tools were hard to see in the dark (go figure right?).  When I walked my circle, I said things in the wrong order, didn’t say them the right number of times, I said the wrong verse for the different directions.  It was messed up. 

You would think I would have been discouraged and disappointed with my initiation.  I wasn’t.  It was one of the most magical nights I’ve ever experienced.  As I went to each direction, thought about my intentions, I felt connected and cherished.  I felt my guardians gather around me – my dragons, my ancestors – all of them form up in a womb around me as I made my commitment to myself and to my path. 

The rain poured down but the trees kept me dry (ish) and my candles all burned the way they were supposed to.  As I faced north – a direction I have never felt all that connected to – I felt one of my guardians there, waiting for me, guiding me.  I felt like I stood at the mouth of a cave, waiting for permission to step into her space and learn from her. 

When it comes to the directions and elements, I connect strongly with fire and water.  When it comes to air, I feel a more ethereal connection.  Earth, solid, strong earth, I’ve never been drawn to.  It’s ironic as my maiden name is Stone and my entire family is crazy about rocks, whether polished or not.  We all collect them.  My dad was a rock hound and one of my fondest memories is of walking along Lake Superior and picking up agates on the shoreline. 

When it came to my spirituality, I didn’t really feel connected to earth until this night.  I stood there with rain washing down.  The power and energy I felt moved me to tears of joy.  My grandmother dragon (she comes to me when I meditate) joined my initiation, welcoming me, affirming my path. 

Interestingly, I remember other guides coming at the other directions but this one was particularly powerful for me.  Grandmother dragon has a tendency to smack me on the back of the head when I ask questions.  Generally because I’m asking questions I already know the answer to.  For her to come through so clearly, so powerfully, helped validate the ritual.  It washed away any doubt I had that I was taking the right steps. 

While I performed my ritual, I didn’t notice the cold, damp night.  At the end the moon came out, shown through the trees the way I’d envisioned it.  I packed up everything and took it back into the house.  After which it rained hard, steadily all night.  I felt as though the world was being washed clean with my initiation. 

With all the missteps and miscues, I should have been disappointed or annoyed but I wasn’t.  I came away feeling like it was exactly how it should have been.  I think doing it myself with no one else there made it more powerful and personal. 

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As a solitary, I consider myself a pagan witch who is seeking. Residing in rural Wisconsin, by day I work as a clerical worker and at night I spend my spare time writing. Writing is my way of expressing my feelings about my world and life. Raised on a farm, I have a love for nature and am inspired by the beauty and power I find there. I've been married for 33 years and have three adult daughters. Some of my other interests include cooking, genealogy, reading and crocheting.  
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  • David LeBarron
    David LeBarron Wednesday, 08 April 2015

    How lovely for you!

  • Eileen Troemel
    Eileen Troemel Wednesday, 08 April 2015

    Thank you... it was a great experience

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