I blog like a spider; I weave webs. I'm not sure PaganSquare readers will see the web as I don't post all blog posts on PaganSquare, but in general most of my blog posts reach back to the post of the previous day, or the day before that, in some way. There are exceptions, of course. These are glitches in the web; a day when I ran out of time or where my thoughts didn't come together as I expected them to because I was too tired to be collected, to overthink. Like this post. I read back these posts later and I hang my head in resignation. Published is published. I don't edit anything besides spelling errors after publishing.

I am always amazed to discover which posts are read, commented on and appreciated most. Of course, I'm biased, but in general, the topics I am or was proud of most, garner the least interest in readers. Perhaps because they are too Hellenic, perhaps because the topic is only of interest to me. I try to predict how well a post will do after I publish it and I'm almost always wrong. You'd say I would have learned to adapt my expectations but us Dutch folk are also very, very stubborn. 

I started blogging because all the changes in my (religious) life were making me feel like my head explode. I'm amazed I am still writing, not just once a week or once a month like I figured I would end up doing but every single day. Every single day, I boot up my laptop or mobile phone and I write about a topic that is stuck in my mind. And this from the woman who has never been able to keep a journal.

People often tell me I reveal a lot about myself in my posts. Some people tell me I reveal too much. I share my pain, my fear, my practice and my joy with anyone who is open to reading it. I can't write any other way. I live the way I write; overemotional but without judgement. I hold very little back. If I do, it's because there is another person involved or because the experience was to intense to put into words. I am an open book. I'm Dutch; I embellish nothing. I hold you capable enough to realize that what I write is my truth and trust you enough to be vulnerable through it. I think I neglected to tell my readers this, so I am telling you now. Perhaps this will help you see the web and understand that every post has been introduced after all; by all the posts that went before it.

Another thing you must understand about me, is that I am a very positive person. I write everything I write with the best of intentions. I don't do snark. I question, I get angry, I get frustrated but very, very rarely with a person. I understand they are speaking and living their truth, like I speak and live mine. I can get emotionally invested in a topic but I will never pass judgement on the person telling it. Please, read my posts with this in mind and forgive that they aren't sensational. I'm a boring person at heart and love to be so.