Living the Wheel: Seasonal Musings of the Pagan Year

Thoughts and musings of the wheel of the Pagan Year.

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Journey to the Self

     I have been thinking about the direction this blog should take; how best to illustrate how my spirituality is tied to my daily life and my relationship with my family--how can/will my spirituality see me through the present circumstances of my life. In short, how do I become the person I want to be, and who can guide me there?

     I realized the best way to start was to ask. What do I need to know? I didn't ask anyone--I just presented the question and waited for an answer. The answer that came to me over the course of a few days amid dishes, laundry, library trips, preschool story hours, homework help and Play-Doh projects was simple, and yet so very complex.


     Before I could move forward or achieve any kind of understanding about the world around me I had to come to an understanding of who I am. I know the words: mother, wife, writer, homemaker, Pagan, Witch...but what do these words actually mean? I realize I cannot simply define myself with words; I need to learn the meanings of these words--the true meanings--and learn how to apply them to myself.

     And so begins a journey to access the spiritual plane that we are all part of in one way or another, and hopefully the lessons that will lead me to a greater understanding of what it means to be a mother, wife, writer, homemaker, Pagan and Witch. I have a feeling it will be a difficult journey, painful at times, always humbling, in the end enlightening. I will ask the questions and cultivate an open mind, even if I don't like the answers (especially if I don't like the answers).

     Why now? Truthfully I don't know. Perhaps because as we approach Litha anything seems possible, everything seems possible. The world around us has burst into vibrant green; lives that began just after Ostara are growing and thriving. The world itself is alive around me and I feel my soul stirring, rebelling against this stagnant state I find myself in, and like the birds bursting from their eggs I long to be free. I want to grow, to expand my horizons, to learn. And as I have been told, to do so I need to learn about myself.

     To learn about myself I must explore the varying aspects of the Goddess as they manifest themselves in my life: Hestia, Goddess of the hearth and home; Isis, the Great Mother; Kwan Yin, the merciful and compassionate; Bride and Her creative and healing fires, and so many more I have yet to know and understand. As the days continue to lengthen to Litha, I will continue to question, and hopefully learn. May the fires of Litha ignite your souls as they have ignited mine.

     Blessed Be.




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I am a writer and poet living in western Massachusetts. I have a degree in English Lit, with a focus on the nineteenth century, and am working toward a degree in Women's Studies as well. My work has previously appeared in The Pagan Activist, The Pagan Review, GrannyMoon's Morning Feast, and The Montague Reporter. I am currently working on a series of children's books, a novel trilogy, and a poetry manuscript (I simply can't do one thing at a time!). I also have several random fantasy-based short story projects that I attack once in a while.   I am a Dianic Pagan and practice Kitchen Wicca, and am also a Reiki Master. For a glimpse into my own little corner of reality, you can stop in and visit me at Ellie.


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