Gods help us, it's that time of year again.
Wait one day too long, and watch those tender little fingerlings balloon overnight to forearm-sized (if not thigh-sized) behemoths. What to do?
Hollow them out for snake o' lanterns.
Play Harvest Softball with zucchini and green tomatoes.
Carve wooden shoes.
Float them in lakes and let people worry about alligators.
Make a dugout canoe.
Build a raft.
Bomb Raqqa.
Raise one as a Maypole.
Move in.
Slice them into 2 x 4s.
Build a log cabin.
Build a stockade.
Squash-henge.