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In Which You, Dear Reader, Will Likely Learn More About Our Intrepid Blogger Than You Ever Really Wanted to Know

Contains frank discussion of body hair.

Among men of my family, our lack of body hair is something of a standing joke.

One morning, I'd let the pot of tea steep too long.

“That'll put hair on your chest,” said my father, taking his first sip.

“You mean I'll actually have sixteen?” I quipped.

“Quit bragging,” he quipped back.

For most of my adult life, I've tended to keep my body hair clipped pretty close. For a while—maybe still—being “smooth” was a gay “thing.”

But after some deep discussion with the warlocks about men's inner lives, and manhood generally, I began to wonder what this said about the ambivalence of my relationship with my own male body. I realized that it had been years since I'd actually seen my body with its full compliment of what the epic poets of old Eriu called “the manly hair.” So I set out to remedy that.

Call it prairie restoration.

Six fields, the lower four now given back to the wild. In time, they find their own cherished length, and stay there.

Humans are animals; our gods are animal gods. Hair is our inheritance.

In the frozen pit of a dark, cold winter, I dream one night of gazing down on my own naked body. Where pubic hair was, a thick clutch of crisp green leaves now springs.

I wake filled with a bright sense of vernal joy.

They're really the next-best thing to skyclad.

My friend Stephanie Fox always says, "Every guy looks better in a kilt."

As usual, she's right.

If there's an identifiable Pagan Male mode of dress, the kilt would probably be it. Me, I'd wear one every day if I could get away with it.

Well, but I live in Minneapolis, where—self-effacement being core to Scandinavian-ness—it's considered poor form to draw too much attention to oneself in public.

Besides which, I'm a person who—for the good and the ill of it—people tend to notice. It took me a long time to learn to Walk Unseen and, frankly, I value the ability.

 What no man may tell, nor woman know.

My father once said, What do you want for your children? You want them to have what you never did.

I had presided at G's Naming, so when it came time for his Man-Making, it was natural that his foster father should give me a call. We got together with G's godfather, and together the three of us planned a nice, tight little ritual, the rite that we all wished we'd had for ourselves.

Later that night, as I was writing up the outline that we'd crafted, I realized that we'd left out something important. Actually, what we had left out was the single most important thing of all.

On the morning of Thirteenth Day, the warlocks sit in the sauna and sing their warlocks: varð-lokkur, their songs of power.

They sing up the Sun, in its years and days.

They sing up the seeds, and the harvest to be.

They sing up the lambing, the calving, the fawning.

At the turning of winter, the warlocks sing summer.

What about men?

That's the question people often ask me as I'm praising women's bellies as sacred, not shameful. Praising our body's center as home to the soul-power kin to the magnificent Source Energy creating, sustaining, and renewing the world.

What about men? Don't they have soul-power too?

"What about men?" is also the title of a chapter my editor chose not to include in The Woman's Belly Book, for whatever reason. You can read the full text of that chapter here.

The chapter's major point: As a man enters into his own wholeness, integrating feminine and masculine polarities,

he begins to perceive a woman as a person, informed by her own purpose. His need to control her diminishes. He becomes more capable of entering into a relationship of mutual respect.

As men increasingly live and breathe from center, they prepare themselves to enter into the egalitarian relationships many women desire, and which we deserve. Truly loving relationships can develop as the partners each live from their inner source of being and support each other in returning to their core wisdom, again and again. In this way the relationship takes its strength from the shared center that emerges in the partners' midst.

As men and women support each other in coming home to ourselves, we can engender a more peaceful, just, and sustainable way of being human together on this planet.

Loving relationships? There's a story, origin said to be circa 1450, that — by my lights — holds the key to loving relationships between women and men.

I came across this story as I was preparing The Woman's Belly Book and its companion, the Rite For Reconsecrating Our Womanhood. As part of my research, I delved into Maureen Murdock's book, The Heroine's Journey.

Murdock tells the story of Lady Ragnell and Sir Gawain. The story is part and parcel of Arthurian legend; it relates to other tales of transformation as well.

You can read the original in Middle English here and adaptations into modern English here and here. In brief, the story demonstrates just what restores women's beauty and balance: Men perceiving women as persons, informed by our own purpose. Men recognizing, respecting, and supporting our autonomy, our sovereignty.

Respecting our sovereignty? A man by the name of Padma Aon Prakasha copied the text of my "What About Men?" chapter into his own book — without ever asking my permission. In his "note to the reader" he asserts his entitlement to appropriate others' words. That's either amusing or appalling, or maybe both.

But here's something much more interesting, and a thrill: My friend Denise Ostler (a.k.a. Merri Beacon) has of her own accord, without any previous inkling of Lady Ragnell's story, written her own and up-to-date version as part of her Fairytale Medicine series.

Her Goals & Dreams tale begins

Once upon a time, in a tiny kingdom, there dwelt a sweet princess who cared for injured animals. She created a special place in the royal stables where she could tend to her patients. She loved her work, but alas, it was time for her to marry.

The king narrowed her suitors down to three eligible princes. Each prince was invited to dine at the castle and give a speech about why he would be the best match for the princess. On the first night, a very handsome and confident prince stood to address the royal assembly....

The story continues here. Enjoy!