(I wrote this in 2005, before I had embraced Paganism.  So please forgive the absence of the usual buzzwords, and feel free to insert your own.) 

We survive the trials of life because our brains change.  The brain creates new neural pathways in response to fresh information.  Each time we encounter a different piece of the cosmic puzzle, be it pleasant or unpleasant, the brain readjusts its “wiring” to integrate that information into our total reality system.  By this process we gradually increase the sum total of what we understand.  At the same time, we raise the threshold of what we are able to endure.  

This learning and adapting process stops when we hit overload – an event, or series of events, so nightmarish that the brain simply refuses to accept any more input.  When that day comes, the brain short-circuits and we begin to implode.  

If one is able to “drop out” and take a rest, he may recover and get back into the game again, as a very changed person with drastically new priorities.  Otherwise, the short circuit may be the beginning of the end, because staying alive no longer seems as attractive as leaving the whole mess behind. 

There is just one thing wrong with this plane of existence – only one thing, but it’s the fly in the ointment that will never go away.  It’s not a secret, either; we all know what it is.  

With all this world’s potential for beauty, love, health and happiness, comes an equal potential for horror, cruelty, sickness and depression.  Yesterday we felt fine; today we have an incurable illness. 

            No matter how good a player in life’s game you may think you are, the House is stacked against you - because for everyone the end of life is death.  Most often it is preceded by illness.  Sometimes the short-circuiting brain slows down to an agonizing, tortoise-like pace.  Sometimes our loved ones lose their minds altogether, unable to recognize those who care for them the most.  Watching someone you love die by inches can cause you panic, fear, anger, frustration, grief and bitterness.  We consider “lucky” those who die quickly, with little or no pain; but the suddenness of such a death is all the more shocking to us, the survivors. 

         Most of us believe that we continue on – that loving personalities survive death.  We have assurances of this from all sorts of people; but there are so many different descriptions of the afterlife that it’s impossible to know which stories - if any - are true.        

        So - what should we do about all this?  What, in fact, could we possibly dowhen faced with such a scenario?  

Just the best we can, that’s all.  There’s a lot of advice out there, in books and movies and on the Web.  Which advice is the most practical and useful for those of us who have to keep living, here and now? 

            The following are some attitudes that I have found helpful: 

            1. “Hope for the Best, Expect the Worst.” – This comedic song by Mel Brooks expresses a profound psychological truth: Life can’t disappoint you, if you don’t expect anything from it!  But, then, how can you keep your expectations in check without becoming a depressed zombie? 

2. Develop your sense of humor; learn to laugh freely in the face of irony. – This is the equally important second half of the first idea.  It’s just possible that life is a farce written by some cosmic playwright.  Try to put yourself in the audience as often as you can, and enjoy the show.  After all – much of it is too improbable to be taken seriously!  

3. Learn to be grateful when you realize that things could have turned out worse. – This doesn’t sound like much of a prize, but it’s realistic.  It keeps your situation in perspective. 

While compliant resignation may be okay for some, what if every fiber of yourbeing rebels against this feeling of helplessness?  What about those great souls who made a difference in this world, and taught that we could, also? 

They all intuited the same truth: there are things we can do to make a difference.  But we must understand that our power is limited.  For one thing, the world is indifferent to our preferences - life is going to do what it’s going to do, regardless.  For another thing, we are temporal beings - our efforts are confined to the present moment.  To quote Mother Theresa, “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.”   We cannot stop another’s death, for example.  But we might be able to stave it off for a time - keep it from happening now.  If that turns out to be impossible, we might at least extend some comfort and love before death completes its work. 

Reiki practitioners invite a cosmic energy to enter the body, vitalizing that which was weak and straightening-out that which was blocked and twisted.  Acupuncturists stimulate the body’s own bio-electric energy for the same purpose.  Western Doctors and Nutritionists use surgical interventions and the building blocks of the body’s own cells to restore health, as in chelation therapy.  They are all healers, and they can all help for a time.  But if the patient persists in unhealthy behaviors, the illness can return.  Sometimes it does anyway. 

Our influence is temporary, like life itself.  But it’s all we can do. 

Since we are only capable of small things, it is the small things that count.  We can give a sympathetic smile to someone who is down, especially if no one else is smiling at them.  We can squat, even if our joints ache, to feed a dog or cat that has been neglected.  Even if we have no money, we can “click” for free on Internet services such as the Animal Rescue Site, Child Health, Hunger, Literacy, Rainforest, and Breast Cancer sites - where sponsors donate small portions of money for each “click” the site receives.  It’s just a small amount - but we can do it every day.  And when many people are doing it every day, the small things really count!  

And when we are kicked in the gut by misfortune, we can remember to breathe and to face it calmly and squarely, without hysteria.  We can give our brains time to build new pathways.  

The Lion in Winter by James Goldman is a play filled with memorable phrases and magnificent moments when people are pushed to the limits of their endurance, yet somehow keep going.  One of those moments comes when the princes think their father is going to execute them.  Richard – later to be known as the Lionheart – says he will not give Henry the satisfaction of seeing him beg.  To his younger brother, Geoffrey, this is meaningless.  “Why, you chivalric fool - as if the way one fell down mattered.”  

But Richard, ever the consummate warrior, persists.  “When the fall is all there is, it matters.” 

            This is exactly where we find ourselves.  The fall is inevitable; we cannot keep it from happening.  But perhaps we can control how we face it. 

            This brings us to a deeper revelation.  Only those who have been on a path of self-discovery for a long time can appreciate it.  The revelation is this:  

For others, we can do only small things.  But for ourselves – that is, the recognition of our true Self with a capital “S” – we can work miracles.  And, by raising the level of our own Self-awareness, we will help others automatically - by demonstrating what is possible for them to achieve for themselves.  Every teacher is the product of other teachers – each of whom contributed, in a small way, to put him on a path where he could work on himself.  It was that long, hard work on himself that eventually made him a teacher in his own time. 

What is the one Great Secret taught by all teachers of all metaphysical schools, each in his own terminology? 

 “Change the Vibrations.”  

The Rosicrucians say it precisely that way, teaching that we can change negative vibrations by our focused Will.  To strengthen our energy and our willpower, they use techniques based on Kundalini Yoga for enlivening the Chakras. 

The Buddhist technique of Tonglen teaches us to breathe-in negativity like a black toxic cloud – then to use our heart like an air purifier, so that what we breathe out is clean, beneficent and healing.  

Too Eastern or mystical for you?  Do you prefer teachings from our own culture?  Very well: the Christ-oriented A Course in Miracles asks Holy Spirit to reveal a new dimension - a different way for us to look at the situation.  The book When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner teaches us to face our common humanity with maturity and acceptance. 

            All lineages are talking about the same thing!  In their own ways, people of all traditions, all faiths and all philosophies pray for the strength to endure what they must endure, and for the courage to change what they are able to change. 

The question is: What are we able to change?  Not what Nature, Fate and Others do – we can’t change those at all.  But ourselves - our own minds and attitudes - the way we choose to interpret the nature of Reality itself.  That is what we can change. 

For Reality, it turns out, is like a Michelangelo statue.  It is definitely there - solid, hard and set.  But its meaning changes with each observer, and with every shift in our perspective and mood. 

If we find ourselves perceiving fear, pain and anger, there are methods at our disposal for changing those perceptions - and, consequently, freeing us to respond in a different way.  Mysteriously, if we change our viewpoint enough, it sometimes happens that the situation itself improves. 

But changing the situation is not our goal.  We must persist in our beneficent discipline, regardless of how things look physically.  Our aim is to change our inner selves, rather than our outer circumstances. 

We are bio-electric magnets.  What we attract depends partly on how we were magnetized in the past, and partly on how we magnetize ourselves now.  We made a lot of mistakes that we can’t even remember, and those magnetized birds are coming home to roost.  But we have a choice.  Will we make the situation even worse by allowing our problems to embitter us – thereby magnetizing more grief into our auras?  Or will we knuckle down and practice a technique to change our perceptions of what the situation means? 

Surprisingly enough, as I have indicated, there are multiple methodologies for accomplishing this internal change.  All of them work!  But different types of people prefer different paths.  You must investigate until you find the best for you. 

It’s not easy to change your responses.  It takes continual work.  But you can do this, and it’s worth it. 

Many of the traditions mentioned above utilize Sound to change the vibrations.  The science of Mantra is ancient and rich.  Since Sound is a vibration itself, bathing your brain in certain sounds can soothe it and counteract other, upsetting vibrations.  When the brain is calmed and working properly, it sends the proper amounts of chemicals to the glands and organs throughout the rest of the body.  The brain is the great controller and regulator of everything else.  

Affirmations, popular in New Thought, are a form of Mantra.  Pressure of the tongue on certain parts of the soft palate makes direct connections to brain centers by stimulating neural pathways.  Chanting out loud causes vibrations in the body-centers, or Chakras.  These are tactile aspects of Mantra.  The meaning of the words is an intellectual aspect.  All aspects contribute, but Sound is the most powerful of all. 

When a young adult turns on loud music the moment he gets up in the morning, violating the rest of the family’s peace with bone-shaking drumbeats and other noises that everybody else hates, he is using Sound to block out fear and discontent, to face a day in which he anticipates criticism and discomfort.  His hormonal system is on fire; it doesn’t know what to do with itself.  

Mantra uses Sound in a more precise and directed manner - to produce a Balance in the brain-body system.  Instead of counteracting insecurity with manic activity – which throws the person equally out of balance in the opposite direction – it brings the system into functional harmony.  So much better for all parties concerned!  The young adult will be able to accomplish so much more, developing his reasoning ability along with his experience.  And everyone else will get a break! 

We are told that listening to Mozart has this effect, as well.  Amadeus was such a “connected” soul that his music intuitively incorporates the brain-balancing benefits of Mantra.  Until you are able to find a teacher you like from one of the traditions suggested above, try replacing your usual music with The Marriage of Figaro or The Magic Flute.  Give it a shot, why don’t you; what have you got to lose? 

The schools that don’t use Sound, use Breath.  (Most schools, actually, use both.)  Breath is the means whereby Life is drawn into the body; the Life Essence itself came in with the first breath we breathed, and it will leave with the last.  Call that Essence Chi; call it Prana; call it Vital Life Force; call it Fred and Ethel, if you will – it doesn’t care.  It works the same way, regardless.  

Yoga practices are called Pranayama; Taoist practices are called Chi Gung (spelled various ways).  But only the uninitiated call them “breath control.”  You are not controlling your breath – you are controlling the Life Energy of the Cosmos through your breath!  The difference in meaning is profound.  You will learn the details from your Kundalini or Tai Chi instructor. 

In the meantime, just pay attention to where you feel the breath in your body.  Understand one principle: Chest breathing takes you into anxiety and panic, Belly breathing keeps you calm and stable.  (You don’t really breath into your stomach, you breath into the lower lobes of your lungs.  But you feel it in the belly.  If you lie down on your belly, then you feel the breath in your lower back.  That is where you want the breath to be, to keep yourself under control.) 

So, that’s what it’s all about.  Simple, right?  (That was a test of your sense of humor.) 

If you are starting out on this strange new adventure that we call life, I have made reference to various schools, religions, philosophies and traditions that you may find worthwhile looking into; do an Internet search. 

If you’ve already been around the block, and found the path of development that appeals and works for you - stay on it.  Keep the Faith, Baby - the faith that the longer you persist, the closer you will get to the desired goal.  

Don’t Give Up.  Everyone goes through Dark Nights of the Soul.  There may be more of them up ahead.  The way you face them, matters. 

 Change the vibrations associated with that.  The more dark nights you have suffered, the more bright days you have enjoyed.