Paganistan: Notes from the Secret Commonwealth

In Which One Midwest Man-in-Black Confers, Converses & Otherwise Hob-Nobs with his Fellow Hob-Men (& -Women) Concerning the Sundry Ways of the Famed but Ill-Starred Tribe of Witches.

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How to Feed the Coven More Vegetables This Yule, in Three Magic Words

 Still life with vegetables | Татьяна Скороход | Flickr


The science is undeniable: people that regularly eat large quantities of vegetables live longer and healthier lives. Like pretty much everyone else in the US, witches need to eat more vegetables.

Well, you can't hang over their shoulders at every meal. Feasts are another matter, though.

All you need to know are three magic words.

For years at family holidays like Thanksgiving, I would dutifully set out a tray of crudités with some recondite dip of my own devising (North Indian dry dip, classic tahina cream...). I would eat a few pieces of broccoli. A few hours later, I'd pack up the untouched veggies and put them back in the refrigerator.

Finally one year my sister said: “I'll show you how to get people to eat vegetables.”

She pulled out a container of French onion dip, gave it a good stir, and plunked it down in the middle of the vegetable tray.

That Thanksgiving, we actually had to cut up more veggies.

Of course, it helps to have some interesting vegetables in there with the usual broccoli, carrots, and cauliflower. Me, I've had good luck with green beans, kohlrabi, and slices of jicama.

Let purists whine about calories and refined sugars. French onion dip is delicious, and nearly everyone loves it. The luxuriousness is part of the draw, and the inherent benefits of all those added veggies will more than offset the added calories and sugar. Smart eating isn't just a matter of calories: it's what you're getting for the calories.

Yule is a high fat time. Three magic words can help both you and the coven navigate the holy tide safely.

After all: if Yule is here, can Beltane be far behind?





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Poet, scholar and storyteller Steven Posch was raised in the hardwood forests of western Pennsylvania by white-tailed deer. (That's the story, anyway.) He emigrated to Paganistan in 1979 and by sheer dint of personality has become one of Lake Country's foremost men-in-black. He is current keeper of the Minnesota Ooser.


  • John Zelasko
    John Zelasko Monday, 13 December 2021

    My 3 magic words are, "go vegan now". It's a moral imperative to me. After all, how could I claim to honour the earth, the animals, and my health by being speciesist? My ethics toward non-human animals are not dictated by my taste buds. Just sayin'.

  • Steven Posch
    Steven Posch Tuesday, 14 December 2021

    The single most important thing that anyone can do to reduce her carbon footprint is to become vegetarian.
    Just because it's a truism, doesn't mean it isn't true.

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