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Subscribe to this list via RSS Blog posts tagged in healing grief
Crystal Healing: For Physical and Emotional Pain

 When you feel pain somewhere in your body, it is a small voice that needs to be listened to. It could be old energy that needs to be released or a blockage or imbalance. I was in a hit-and-run auto accident where I was hit by a drunk driver who plowed through a red light and totaled my car, and very nearly me. As I hit the brake, my foot and ankle were shattered, rather like a porcelain teacup thrown with great force. The doctors wanted to amputate my leg, but I managed to talk them out of it. I had to learn to walk again, but I can walk and even dance and run again after lots of physical therapy and healing. But nowadays whenever I hit the brake too hard, I feel pain because my body remembers. The tissue and bones old the memory imprint of that awful day and the terrible trauma.


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Posted by on in Culture Blogs
Letting Go

With my mom's passing, I felt I had it handled.  I was her executor though I'm the youngest of her six kids.  The last three months have flown by and I've felt like I had a long list of things to do and no time to grieve.  I had to organize her funeral, disposal of her things, and her finances.  

As I finished one task, I felt like I was checking off a box on some crazy list I never wanted to deal with.  Mixed in with this, I kept having dreams of my mom and my dad (he died 34 years ago).  I can't tell you specifics other than they were always laughing and there was always light.  

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b2ap3_thumbnail_nature-flowers-sun-60006.jpgThose who are estranged from their biological relatives can struggle deeply with feelings of grief, but it is a strange grief, something that feels unnatural or out of season. No one has died, gotten divorced, or was fired from a job. But what did end was the image you had for most of your life about the people you thought you knew so well.That ending is an extremely difficult loss not only because of the sudden nature of most family cut-offs, but because that ending also changed you and how you understand yourself and, importantly, life itself. Family Aggression impacts our sense of justice, fairness, and a belief in the benevolence of the world. Additionally, estrangement and family shunning is not merely the loss of one person, but a sudden loss of an entire group of people with whom you were once intimately bound. Losing all this in one fell swoop is a profound and devastating loss, especially when parents you believe love you have now become hostile, even threatening.

Because there is no open dialogue in most cultures to help one come to terms with the reality of family cut-offs, grief and confusion can remain like a dark cloud hanging over every day. Where are the grieving rituals for family estrangement? Death and divorce are now openly discussed in many countries and there are rituals to mark these transformative moments in our lives. However, family cut-offs are typically hidden by the victims because they feel so unnatural and are so fundamentally wrong. Victims often believe that cut-offs are uncommon, which is not true. Also, families who act aggressively work hard at convincing daughters and sons who differentiate from the Family Script that they themselves are wrong, unwanted, and alone. Isolating targets is a way to pressure them to conform and return to the family's way of thinking. This is a key piece in the dominating, aggressive family behavior and one reason why family estrangements are not openly discussed.

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Recent Comments - Show all comments
  • Carol P. Christ
    Carol P. Christ says #
    Thank you Sedna. I too am e-stranged from my family who made me feel like the strange one. You are right that family estrangement
  • Sedna
    Sedna says #
    Thank you for writing and sharing your experiences, Carol, which enriches this circle. A goal of the Family Script for scapegoated
  • Sedna
    Sedna says #
    Virginia, Thank you so much for commenting and having the courage to share your story. As you note, "groupmind" is really a core p
  • Virginia Carper
    Virginia Carper says #
    I left my family years ago for reasons of sanity. I had several stints in mental hospitals and was under a doctor's care. We went
  • Mark Green
    Mark Green says #
    A wonderful post. I have been estranged from my blood family for decades, and as my parents have died off and others have simply m

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