It's right up there in the pantheon of the good things that life gives us, along with good food, good sex, and good ritual.

Good conversation.

Singer-songwriter Sparky T. Rabbit (1954-2014) was one of the most brilliant conversationalists that I've ever met.

He strictly adhered to what I'll call the Five-Minute Rule.

If you've been talking for five minutes, it's time to shut up and listen.

One of the things that made Sparky such a supple and engaging conversationalist is that he was an active listener. While you were talking, he gave you his full attention, and he was thinking about what you said.

I try to be a good listener. Gods help me, I try.

That's how I've come to realize that much of what passes for conversation isn't actually conversation at all.

It's concurrent monologue.

Real conversation = an exchange of ideas on a topic of mutual interest.

A bore = someone who would say the same thing to anyone.

Hence, the Five-Minute Rule.

Rhetoric is the art of effective communication. Rhetorically speaking, the Five Minute Rule is a singularly effective strategy for getting your point across. Because after five minutes, by the time you eventually reach your point—after the whole, winding story, with not one single, juicy detail (no matter how irrelevant) left out—you might as well not have bothered opening your mouth at all in the first place. No one is listening to you any more anyway. I can guarantee it.

So, I've had my say, and you've patiently given me the gift of your attention.

I've had my five minutes.

It's time for me to shut up and listen.