Gnosis Diary: Life as a Heathen
My personal experiences, including religious and spiritual experiences, community interaction, general heathenry, and modern life on my heathen path, which is Asatru.
My 2 Weddings, part 1: Loki
On April 28, 2014, I was reading reading a novel in bed. My eyes closed and my Kindle slipped from my hand onto the pillow. Instead of drifting off to sleep, I drifted into hypnogogia, that dreamy state in which I am awake and aware but can't move and can see images as if I were dreaming.
Loki appeared, and I expressed anxiety that he and the other gods would stop talking to me when I was done writing the book they were inspiring me to write.
I saw a gold ring floating in the air, glowing with its own inner light.
I wanted to accept it, but I was afraid. I had been a sworn priestess of Freya for 25 years, and I didn't want to mess that up. I was not sure what sort of marriage terms were being offered. I talked about what I wanted and what I feared and who I am. I'm summarizing both what I said and what he said here, and what I was thinking inside, because the full transcript would be long and boringly repetitious. As I spoke, I used butterfly imagery, unaware at the time that butterflies are a symbol of Sigyn. It took a long time to talk out what I needed and expected. At one point, the ring faded from my sight, and I got mad instead of afraid.
I asked, "Can't I be the strong woman Freya made me and still be yours?"
The ring popped back into existence in my mind's eye.
I asserted that if I accept, I am still in charge of my body. He agreed, and the glowing ring of gold slid onto my left hand where a wedding ring goes.
He said, "There. Now shut up and write your novel."
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